My Journey To Love

O

L I S A' s
point of view

After walking out—or more like running away from that place, I came outside to cry myself out.

Why is it so hard to accept that he's really not for me?

"You're so stupid," I chuckled to myself. Right. I already knew this would happen and yet I still hoped for something that is impossible to happen.

Then, my gaze landed on the camera hanging on my neck. I opened it and just as how unlucky I am, the first thing I saw was their picture together.

"I'm really stupid."

"Yes, you are stupid." I flinched when I heard someone chuckling behind me. I instantly wiped my tears away before facing him.

"What are you doing here, Bam?"

"I should be the one asking you that. I tried to search for you inside the arena but you weren't there," he told me.

I smiled at him. "I just wanted to inhale some fresh air."

"Were you crying?" he frowned at me.

"The wind here is too strong and it somehow made me teary," I told him but he didn't seem to buy my excuse.

"Was it because of Jungkook and Sana?"

A heartbreaking sob immediately came out of my mouth. "You're right. I kept on hoping that someday, Jungkook will accept me. I kept on holding for something that would never happen. And now I'm hurt," I said before covering my face ashamed that I've become like this just because of my stupid crush for him. Or was it just a simple crush?

"Just cry it all out, Lisa. I'm sorry." Bambam tried to console me but I readily shook my head before smiling painfully.

"No. Don't be. I'm not one to be sorry for. I chose this and now I'm paying the price. I so totally deserved it," I said. I am the one who chose this. I entered this mess and so maybe this is my punishment for being too much of a nuisance.

And then, I heard Bambam chuckling beside me. I looked at him strangely. Was he teasing me now?

"No, you misunderstood me. I just find this situation funny. Maybe because you reminded me of my past self," he briefly explained.

"Huh?"

"In my former school, I also pursued someone. She is a beautiful maiden of my age and we share the same class. But our gap is just too much. She's the Miss Popular while I'm just a nobody." He explained with a shrug and I found myself relating to his story. "Just like you, I'm more of a risk-taker. And being the risk-taker, I took the risk to publicly pursue her for three months. She was nice to me. Even though others thought we are too different, she never thought of me like that. Or so I thought she wouldn't. Ha~"

I frowned when I saw his expression. He looked hurt that I found myself comforting him.

"What happened then?"

"I found out that it was all an act. To make a fool of me. After three months, I heard them talking about shaming me on the same day as our prom ball. And so I decided to confront her with it hoping that she would deny it. But she didn't. She admitted it to my face," he continued before letting out a sarcastic laugh. "Imagine my expression that day. I looked like someone sucked my soul out of my body."

"Did she really do that?"

"She said she had no choice. She told me she genuinely liked me but her friends pressured her to do it to me. I don't really understand because if she really liked me, shouldn't she act maturer? If she liked me, she wouldn't have made me believe all her lies. But she did."