renegade - e. munson

chapter three: library panic attacks

   WHEN I STARTED getting close to Billy I also started getting close to Max. Max, who Billy made sure I knew wasn't his actual little sister. That didn't matter to me though because regardless I got close to the red-headed skater. Billy didn't want this to happen. In fact, he was very vocal about how annoying he found Max and that it was weird for us to talk. 

   It all happened by accident.

   I was over at Billy's and we were smoking cigs in his room. We were sitting on his bed and I was making him quiz me for my geography test. In return, I'd buy us pizza and let him drag me to another house party I had no interest in.

   His dad and step-mom, who he referred to strictly as "Susan", were gone for the weekend so we'd have the house to ourselves. Usually when a guy would say this immediately my mind would assume he was suggesting sex. With Billy, it wasn't like that. He just wanted me to know his dad wouldn't be there.

   What he failed to mention when I came over was that Max would be there too. She was holed up in her room blaring music out of her little cassette player.

   "TURN IT DOWN!" Billy yelled.

   It was the third time I made Billy go over flash cards with me and I think that's what really set him off. "Hazel, you're going to do fine. Let's just-" but I ignored him and kept making him start over. The music wasn't bothering me in the slightest but Billy saw how I kept looking at his closed bedroom door, wondering about that little girl, just the same age as Dustin, alone.

   But the music continued and Billy's frustration.

   "I SAID TURN IT DOWN!" Suddenly, my flashcards were thrown across the bed. Billy jumped towards his bedroom door and swung it open. The sound of Kate Bush got louder.

   "Billy, she's just listening to music," I got up to follow, ignoring the mess of flashcards he just made. "Just let it go she's not-"

   "She's being a brat is what she's being."

   I had never talked to the redhead before. I knew she knew Dustin, vaguely, but at the time I didn't know to what extent. To me, she was just another classmate of his, not a monster fighting partner.

   Billy banged on her sticker-coated door until the fiery 8th grader swung the door open. The music grew as the door opened. 

   "What?"

   Her room was the perfect visual of the kind of person Max was. The walls were covered in movie posters from magazines. A broken skateboard poked out from under her bed while her new one leaned up against the door frame. Comic books were scattered across her desk and floor. A walkie that looked just like Dustin's sat next to her bedroom phone.

   "Your music is distracting our studying," Billy said with a fake smile and all. The kind of fake smile that he wanted you to know was fake. "Turn it the fuck down. I'm not asking again."

   "Oh, I'm sure studying is what you're doing-" Max began closing her door but Billy jammed his foot in before it could shut.

   "Don't disrespect my guest."

   "Yeah, we're definitely not doing what you think we're doing. I wouldn't dream of it."

   The door opened back up and Max finally looked at me. Billy looked at me too, confused.

   I smiled at them both, "Trust me, studying is all we are doing. There's flashcards I can prove it."

   Billy rolled his eyes and Max began to smile. A small smile, but a smile all the same.