Ikigai

Chapter 26: Love and Trust

The beginning of love was supposed to make you feel butterflies, right? To make you see the world in a different light and have your world slowly revolve around whoever it was that held the apple of your eye. 

To want to see things from every angle of their perspective and appreciate every smile, laugh, and thought, even every fault, every inch, and every bruise, if you could just be with them. 

The beginning of love was a two-timing whore.

Kintsugi didn't care about the way her heart would move a heartbeat faster whenever he was around. She didn't care that her bending would suddenly spasm for a fraction of a second if he turned in her direction.

She didn't care that for the past few weeks, Itachi had willingly kept her company, whether because she was an important Akatsuki asset or because he just wanted to. 

They never talked about themselves too much, but when they did, there was a comforting peace that Kintsugi had only experienced once.

The love she was beginning to feel didn't stem from romance, at least not to her, or perhaps it was just fondness she felt. 

She had felt it before, back when Rashaan had taken care of her, raised her, into becoming the Avatar. 

She'd found that to Rashaan and everybody else, she had only been a tool. A means to an end. 

But if the only option was to be treated like a tool for being different, then she'd rather go insane like a rabid dog and tear them all to shreds. 

The world was unfair anyway.

She'd thought she'd known what love was and from her experience, love of any kind, never ended well and Kintsugi knew that her relationship with Itachi, wherever it stood, would only hurt her more, drive her closer to the insanity she was kissing already.

But Kintsugi was also a hypocrite. She didn't care that the Akatsuki was using her for her money, not if it meant that she could return to her own world.

It was still hard though because Kintsugi felt dread as the palms of her hands began to faintly gather sweat in excitement, Itachi's figure drawing closer and closer towards Kakashi and her.

"That's a bit personal isn't it?" Kintsugi muttered to Kakashi.

"In my book, me asking about the dark circles under your eyes...that's personal, but asking about where you're really from, something that's most likely public information is personal to you?" Kakashi raised a brow as he watched her glare at him.

"If it's so public why don't you just go look it up instead of asking me? I already gave the council AND the Hokage all they needed. Why do you care, Hatake?"

"Hmm...how do I put this? I can always put in a request with the records office to check that information, but something tells me that not everything you wrote down is true and I thought that it would be better for all of us if I just ask you directly. Saves me the trouble of filling out any paperwork."

"What, you don't trust me Hatake?" Kintsugi grinned. 

"You're the one who told me not to."

"So you do listen. How convenient." 

Kintsugi sighed as Kakashi continued to watch her.

The air had been dry and the heat of the day had begun forming a thin layer of sweat all along his face from going around town, but here he stood having a possibly unnecessary conversation with someone he met a few months ago. Why?

Amusement.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy talking to her. Maybe he was a masochist because it didn't make much sense to him why he enjoyed talking to someone like her. But it was probably for the same reason his own students had grown on him.