Unspoken

In My Feelings

After a night full of tossing and turning you woke up with the sun feeling completely exhausted. You needed to get this negative, angry energy out of your body. It was draining you and making you feel defeated. You changed your clothes and donned a ponytail heading out the front door. Maverick had already left for the day on account of the empty kitchen. Penny would still be in bed after her late shift last night. You turned right and headed down the street taking off in a jog. You were a runner at heart and could go long distances. It wasn't a far distance mile wide to run towards where you've always known. Top Gun. You were soon listening to music as loud as it could go. As loud as your music was the sound of an F-18 filled your ears. You turned your head to the left and saw a plane taking off. You could just make out Bradshaw painted on its side as it flew by. You rolled your eyes slowing down immediately. You placed your hands on your knees and gasped trying to recollect your breath. It was labored and sharp. He had hurt you more than he'd ever know because you'd rather die then let him know how much you were in love with him. To be fair you had no idea you were in love with him until you locked eyes while you were singing. Those brown eyes with flakes of beautiful gold. Those stupid sweet fucking eyes. You stood back up and turned around to head home. You had had enough of this.

As soon as you got through eating the tiny meal you called breakfast you dove deep into songwriting. You had plenty of material to write on now. Your anger fueling the lyrics but underneath all that anger was this unimaginable sadness you didn't expect to feel. Since when did Rooster creep into your heart like this? When did you give away this control over your emotional state? It was all so confusing to you watching the thoughts fly by in your head at an alarming speed. You were frozen listening to the sound of her laugh in your head. Hearing his voice call your name. And that stupid, stupid bird call. You shut your eyes and begged yourself not to cry. You didn't have time for crying. Before you knew it you were throwing the notepad across the room in anger with a loud grunt.

"Wow remind me not to make you angry" Penny said as she walked into the living room freshly dressed for the day. "What's got my ray of sunshine so gloomy?" She wondered as she poured coffee into a mug.

You sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it" you grumbled.

"Does it have to do with a boy that has a bird for a name?" She asked with a hint in her eyes. You rolled your eyes before burying your head in your hands.

"Yes" you squeaked out from behind your fingers. Your phone began to vibrate letting you know you had another call:

Rooster

You hit the silence button and tossed your phone to the side. "That's him isn't it?" She deducted from your reaction.

"Yup." You answered back pronouncing the p extra hard for emphasis. "Go easy on him. I know how you two can get." She advised. You picked up your phone to see a slew of texts you left unanswered from last night. "You guys have fought before and made up easy enough. Don't worry sweet pea. Hey! And don't forget you're signing tonight at the bar." she reminded you before heading towards the door. Even though you didn't fight you still felt as if you did.

"Where you going?" You yelled after her.

"I've got to pick up an order for the bar and then I have to train the new bartender I hired." She told you before closing the door. Now what were you going to do?

You sat on the stool in the bar preparing yourself to sing. A kind patron had dropped a beer off for you which you definitely needed after finding out who the new bartender was. Of course it would be Brooke. Of course! You looked down centering yourself as she leaned in closely to hear you sing. It was a dream for her and a nightmare for you. "I've been thinking about what I should sing tonight and I thought for my second half, I'd give you guys a little bit of everything." You began to say before you opened your mouth once more this time to sing. You took one last look at Brooklyn before letting the sound come out, "I've got girl crush." You began the song getting lost in the lyrics as it went on. "I want to taste her lips yeah cause they taste like you." Rooster walked in and went towards the bar top, he gave her a kiss and asked for a beer. "I want her long blonde hair." You sang on, the tiniest tear fell out of your eyes. You played it off as if it was part of the performance. You tucked your long brown waves behind your ear and sang the last note out with a wavering voice. It shook with the amount of truth behind the words. "Wow! She's on fire tonight!" You heard Rooster cheer. You sang two more songs before ending your set to a generous round of applause. You walked towards the bar knowing you would have to if you wanted to save face and avoid a whole bunch of questions regarding your behavior. You placed the empty glass on the counter and exchanged the quickest glance with your mom before turning to face the man of the hour. "God y/n that was just amazing! You are so talented and you just get so lost in the music. I mean- wow." Brooke rambled at a mile a minute before sighing dreamily as she said the word wow. You took in the look on her face. She was awestruck and really liked you. The feeling wasn't mutual and maybe that wasn't fair to her but right now you didn't care. Your lips parted to say something but got stuck. Your cherry red lips began to tremble. Come on Mockingbird, it's two little words. Spit them out!