"Grey" Fezco O'Neill x black fem reader

5- New chapter, same old story

Author's note: Thank you for 60 reads it's only been a week, but I'm super happy with this fic

You expected the morning after McKay's party to be much more awkward. There were so many factors that should have made it that way, but no, instead it was oddly calm. You were woken up by the smell of breakfast being made in the kitchen and the sound of Ashtray's light snoring beside you. A small smile grows on your face at the sight of the happily sleeping boy. Being one of the few people who could or even would ever see him in this softer light reminded you of how long you'd known him.

Most, practically all of his life. Still remembering the day you went to Fezco's house after school and found him on the way to the bathroom. It was before you knew what he and his grandmother really did for a living, before she passed. And before, you and Fezco were open about your romantic feelings. It felt like ages ago, mostly because it was, but still it was insane to think about how so much had changed in just a few years.

Being forced out of bed by hunger, you made your way to the kitchen to find Fezco finishing up his cooking. The table was set with three plates, three cups and a knife and fork for each. Not wanting to sneak up on him, you took a seat at the table and waited for him to be done. Unaware that he was being watched, Fezco hummed along to a song playing in his mind as he scrambled the eggs.

You wondered how long you could stay like this, quietly watching Fezco, so out of his element. So familiar and so different at the same time. A twinge of guilt hits you, knowing that this sweet moment wouldn't last long. Soon it would be crushed by the heavy weight of the conversation. A necessary conversation, of course, but heavy nonetheless.

"Good morning." A just woken up, Ash tells you before giving you a quick side hug.

"Good morning." You tell him fully, taking in his embrace.

"Oh shit, yall coulda told me yall was up. Eggs are just about done."

"Bout time we got some real food in here." Ash complaints, taking the set across from you. Leaving the one next to you open for Fezco. "Tired of eating cereal."

"All you ever eat is cereal."

"Because it's all we ever have. Thank god you came over, so he had some reason to feed me something good." 

The guilt returns for a second at the thought or, well, reality of Fezco only cooking breakfast because of you. Quickly, you push it away and laugh off Ashtray's comment. The three of you eat breakfast in silence, no one feeling the need to speak and fill the empty space. Instead, the three of you rather just enjoy each other being there. When everyone is done eating, Fezco collects the plates and takes them to the sink.

"You staying the whole day?" Ashtray asks genuinely.

"Nah, I gotta get some stuff ready for school." He frowns at your answer and gets up from the table to go to his room. "But." He stops. "I was thinking that we could go do something."

It's a vague response not promise, but a strong possibility. Ash accepts it with a small smile and nod. He leaves the room and Fezco returns to the table, and it's almost impossible to not notice, feel the shift in the atmosphere. He starts to speak, and truthfully you weren't really listening, more so hearing him and taking it in.

Putting all the scattered pieces you'd collected in your mind together with everything he was saying. Fezco knew Rue was interested in drugs, that's why he smoked with her and Lexi. To make sure if she was doing anything, she was doing it in safety. This you knew, but him selling her pills you always suspected but now knew for sure.

"I knew bout Rue thing for a lil bit, but I ain't think it was a real problem ya know. Just a kid trying something new, but after a while it was getting too much." Struggling to keep his voice even, he gives you a moment to internalize. "I thought if we kept dating and Rue and I kept being friends, she was only gon get worse. It wasn't my business to tell, so I ain't tell you and just stopped talkin' to you." He pauses and regains control of his emotion."I'm sorry."

It was an odd relief, having the answers you were once desperate for. You could see partially where Fezco was coming from, but he definitely could have done things differently. Ultimately, him distancing himself from you and Rue didn't stop her addiction and eventual overdose.

You came home with a sense of hope you hadn't had in a long time. Not just for you and Fezco or even you and Ash, but for you and Rue. This of course didn't last very long because the next time you went to Fezco's house you and your sister very caught in the middle of a hostile drug deal. You had no way of knowing if Rue took the drugs from Mouse by choice, but in your delirious state you could still tell that she was enjoying being high far more than you were. Regardless of the situation, the two of you were just in. It made you wonder how committed Rue really was to her sobriety and how willing she was to accept danger if it meant she could be high.