«☆Dream angst oneshots☆» (Slow Updates)

✧☆Never Missed☆✧

Summary:
As he gets older, he soon realizes why the only thing he could recognize was the smile on his mask. He couldn't even seem to fit his own face onto his body; the mask was the only thing he saw suitable.

As Sapnap yelled directly to his face, he stared into his supposed friend, eyes glossing over under the porcelain piece in front of his face. He choked on his own air as he found he didn't know the man in front of him.
He tried to convince himself he didn't miss them.
I mean, you can't miss something you can't recognize, right?

Or, Dream has Developmental Prosopagnosia (pra-suh-pag-nos-yah), the cognitive disorder of being unable to identify or recognize familiar faces. (and a smidge of amnesia)

Notes:
hello hi so!!! i do not personally have Prosopagnosia, did make sure i did my research while making this. im not a criminal ok

//tw: ab/se, t/rture, blood, violence, yelling, panic attacks, isolation, fear of being alone, s/icide mention, s/lf h/rm mention

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Chapter text:

Dream knew there was something odd when he couldn't recognize which woman was his mother when he went to the store. He knew something was potentially wrong when his mom had to call his name when he was at the playground, though she was looking directly out at him amongst the others. He knew something was different every time he met his friends in the grassy plains they visited as a child, just barely hanging on by a strand by their voices to differentiate which one was George and which one was Sapnap.

He always seemed to check all else about Sapnap to remember who he was. That dark charcoal hair, the same outfit with the little fire décor on his shirt, how he was somewhat shorter than him, and the white bandanna that was tied around his head. Without it, he saw a stranger. Same went for George, with his bright blue shirt and the red and white 404 logo branded to the front, the clout glasses hanging lopsided on his head and his signature diamond sword held at the utility belt of his hips. He was way shorter than them both, his body somewhat small and fit, Sapnap's holding a strong build and bigger overall body structure that made a lot of it easier for him to differentiate the two.

It was a little harder when it came to others, but if he had seen them enough, he'd get a grasp on their figure and their voices as a way to try and remember who they were. He knew Tommy pretty well, save for his signature shirt and his typical body size and hair, the same going for Tubbo, Ranboo, Karl, Quackity, Sam, Puffy, and many others he'd seen on a little less than a daily basis.

Though, as Sam lowered the lava curtain to introduce Quackity's figure just about every day, the abuser being the only man he thought he could clearly recognize, he found he couldn't remember the man's face on the other side of the lava. When he saw it, it was like he knew it was meant to be someone he was supposed to know, but to his many many tries, he felt nothing and saw nothing of him. Besides this sense of defeat and fear, he questioned who Sam was every time he arrived in his cell.

Being alone in an obsidian case all by yourself has you bound to lose some memories and some hold on who you are or were and who you knew. He'd known he'd done bad things, but he did it in the name of who he loved. He regretted his wrongdoings, got to caught into the adrenaline and the power that made him feel whole. After a lifetime of terrified feelings via peers, his adoptive mother, family figures, and spite of others who lived their lives carelessly, he confided in that feeling of using power to his advantage.

He wasn't afraid to lose himself. He'd lost the ability to know the ones around him because he would almost have the inability to remember a thing; his ADHD making him forget people and who they were, along with not recognizing faces, he'd lost all his ability to care for remembering them. He used to sob alone, begging and pleading for the god of the server, DreamXD, to spare him and to help him gain what he was never given. Alas, the god always laughed upon his requests and said a soft, "When one realizes they are eternally loved, not only by me, but by the universe itself, may they truly be gifted what they deserve. Selfishness will not grant you a life amongst the stars, my dear boy. Try again another time." Since then he hadn't bothered caring about what he lost.

He didn't think he could care again until a man he felt like he should remember walked into his obsidian cell.

"You fucking suck, you know that? You fucking betrayed me like it was nothing and left all of us behind, Dream. To me that is unforgivable. If you ever break out of this prison I will hunt you down and I will kill you, no hesitation at all." Sapnap stares into Dream's mask, the man sluggishly lumped forward and not processing a word he was being told. His bones ached, a simple healing splash potion thrown his way to compensate for his injuries by the man he knew as supposedly Sam. Then to pile on the stress of meeting someone he didn't remember nor recognize? A hell of a lot harder then he'd thought it might've been.

His head spun, finding it was harder to breathe the longer Sapnap spoke.

"I hope you're listening, Dream. I want you to know how much I hate you. How much everyone out there hates you to their wits end. You are known as the menace, the wrong person, the enemy to all of us. Every single one of us. I hope you're fucking proud of yourself. I bet you are, yeah?"

The longer this man spoke, the more his world crashed down and his chest constricted, eyes glossing over in discomfort as his arms hug at his sides.

He didn't fucking know why he was being yelled at and he knew he was meant to know but no matter how hard he thought and no matter how hard he tried his mind ran blank. Static relayed in the place of which his best friend Sapnap's face belonged and he knew he'd never be able to relish the memories he once had like how they used to feel. He felt sick, wanting to beat himself in the head for not remembering all the shit that meant the most to him when he had it.

He'd tried so fucking much, the memories mixing into things he didn't remember. He thought George was Sapnap. He thought Technoblade was Philza, he thought L'Manburg was still there. He thought Wilbur was still alive. The only think he consciously remembered was the memory book and how to get it. From what he knew from before, he knew Quackity wanted it and that because it was in his possession, he was still the most powerful person on the server.

Power. The word power brought sickness to his stomach and he never knew why. He couldn't remember what he had done to hate the word, but whenever it was said, a certain kind of churning sickness welled in the pit of his stomach until sometimes he threw up from the unpleasant feeling. The thought of having power terrified him; the thought of dying did the same, hence why he held on to all he had and kept the book the best he could.

Dream didn't answer, arms trembling unnoticeably as his brain yelled at him that Quackity was now above him, that man being the only man he could recognize anymore. He wiped his porcelain face, his hand shaking harder at the thought of moving under it and touching at his face. He found it hard to believe at the thought he had any sort of face at all, let alone be a human one.

"You're not human, you're a fucking monster. And I'm going to make sure you KNOW IT!" Dream begged and pleaded to be spared, his attempts nothing as a heavy mallet hammer cracked down on his right ribs. He choked on his own breath, choking out in pain as his hand hovers over the injury. He tastes copper on his taste buds, dribbling from his mouth and down his chin as he sobs against his control.

He was convinced he wasn't even human and he whole heartedly believe every bit of it.

Sapnap scoffs, just barely noticing the trembling figure of his best friend. His eyebrows crease and he scoffs, brain hastily supplying it was faked as an attempt to churn sympathy from all he had left to care for Dream's sorry existence.

Notes:
whips and nae naes

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I can't even imagine how life would be hard if I had what poor dre had... this is made by the same person as the last chapter which is @deceivingonionrings

Link:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578128/chapters/99159969
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