Trust

Chapter Three

Lichelle Andrews

The first week of classes was proving to be nothing but stress filled. I couldn't believe how much everything cost. Books were expensive. Food was expensive. Time was definitely expensive. I was under the journalism track, but I was still about two years away before I could attempt some of the classes. Still and all I was excited about my decision. I wasn't sure if going into sports exclusively was in my plans yet...however, I was heavily thinking about it. Sports was still a huge part of my life and imagining that I got to be a part of the action on a daily basis was enough to set me over the top.

Still, these classes came first. Also, the thought of John left a bad taste in my mouth. That was what impeded my thought process most days.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke things off less than amicably this past summer. I hadn't stopped to think about college majors, colleges or none of the like because I'd been fraught with the horrors of becoming his wife way before I was ready. I was saddened at times to think of the failure of our relationship because for a time, Johnathan Wall was the best boyfriend. I did picture myself doing the long haul with him. Marriage and children and the whole nine yards...I just didn't want those things on account of giving up my individuality in exchange for his success.

I had spent so much time helping him be the best that he could be that I didn't realize that in turn, I was losing myself. Study sessions I could have had I skipped out on. Times I should have been better paying attention in class, was spent wondering if his former coach was drilling him in practice the way he should've been drilled. The only thing that hadn't suffered was my friendships, on account of more than anything, Kofi, Justine, Shakyra and Ketara had held me down more than they realized. I loved them all dearly.

Leaving John hadn't been easy but at some point, I had to choose me. His vision for our future and mine wasn't quite matching up. The more things went on, the more I saw myself alone in the big house he had purchased for us in DC. The more I pictured him on the road and the more I saw myself watching my own dreams fall by the wayside. I believe if he'd been more sensitive to my thoughts and feelings, I wouldn't have been so quick to leave him. Still...our second to last conversation never sat well.

I still hoped to this day he found the woman willing to marry into his ideal life. That woman wasn't me. It never had been, and I was sorry I led him to believe that I was.

"What has you thinkin' so loud, Lichelle?"

I smirked as I saw Justine in the bed across from me, glancing at me with a lazy grin on her face. She sat up and I took in my best friend's girlfriend's beauty all over again, just astounded at how someone could keep growing beautifully. Justine Skye was the epitome in my mind of what beauty was and her character only added to it.

"I was thinking about the fact that relationships are trash and maybe I ought to be single for a while."

She giggled, "They're not that bad. To be fair though, Kofi is my only boyfriend."

"You're still ahead of a lot of us."

"Ahead or behind, comparison is bullshit. You're exactly where you need to be." Justine said, "However, don't forget to put that ring on your finger when you walk around or else it's gonna be some shit."

I winced, slightly embarrassed that Justine had knowledge of my fake engagement. I hadn't told anyone but Kofi, but it was arrogant of me to think he'd keep that much from Justine. As close as they were, I already knew to tell him was to basically tell her, but I wasn't upset about it. She wasn't a loud-mouthed individual.