𝐃𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐲||𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐃||

Chapter 17:Reckoning

I'm losing myself.

Having gone through the last few entries in this old journal of mind, I've come to that conclusion. I gaze upon these tattered pages and I feel nothing for them. No regret. No remorse. Only cold cynicism. Where did the hope go? When did I stop caring for anything more than the outcome? Where did I become cold? When did I turn cruel? Where did I state to value Konoha's existence over that of the other villages-of the world itself? I don't know. I can't even see where it started. Did it begin when the Shinigami pulled me from the afterlife? Or was it slower than that. More insidious? Subtle. I fear the latter and that terrifies me. My memories are my only recourse in this but even they've begun to get fuzzy as of late.

Kaguya-and isn't that another can of worms!-assures me I have nothing to fear. She swears she won't let me lose myself but even so, the fear is still there. My hair has gone white. The color of ash. Even my eyebrows match it now. I don't understand what caused it. The shock? Trauma? Or something more sinister. Am I still myself?

Am I Madara?

Am I Kaguya?

Am I Naruto?

Some strange hybrid of the three?

Gods above, am I even me anymore?

I...don't think I have many entries left in me.

Gods...

...what am I becoming?

(...)

"Open the gates!"

At the sentry's shout, the great green doors of Konoha opened. With a ponderous groan the steel-shod barriers parted in either directions as the crank turned, revealing the village beyond. For Naruto, it felt like an eternity until he could finally glimpse his old home. Faint shards of reluctant morning sunlight peeked through the growing gaps, drawing a muffled yawn from the slumbering babe nestled his arms. Mercifully, little Kurotsuchi-he'd begun to suspect it was her-didn't raise a fuss, nor did the guards deny him entry because of her presence. A few glanced at the child as he passed, but none proved foolish enough to challenge him for her.

Good.

Regardless of their thoughts, the time-traveling terror was quietly chuffed by the distinct absence of a crowd. The last time he'd come home, it had been to a teeming mass of civilians. This time around, only a handful of shinobi had gathered to greet his return and of their number many appeared reluctant to approach. Almost as if they were afraid of him. It made a twisted sort of sense, really. He could have outrun the news perhaps, if he had been so inclined, but he hadn't. Hadn't been in his right mind, either. Instead he'd taken a long and meandering path back to the village at top speed, arriving long afterward.

Iwa was gone and he'd been the one to do the deed, damning them all.

It remained to be seen what exactly the world knew of his fall.

'Well, damn. I wonder what they think of me?'

"Many things, none of them good."

Naruto didn't need Kaguya's words.

He could sense it.

Like a shroud of palpable unease, so too did he find himself able to see the concern in the villagers, taste their anxiety roiling in the air. Fear. They were afraid of him, and and the realization rocked his world to the core. This went well beyond anything he could gauge even with his eyes active, or his cloak. Not quite mind-reading, he could just...feel them. It wasn't something he could explain, let alone lend words to. Something had changed in him during his last rampage. Everything was raw and he couldn't find a way to shut it off. Part of him wasn't sure he wanted to. That raised all manner of red flags. Yet another thing to worry about. Damn but it never ended, did it? If he wasn't fighting armies or deposing tyrants he was fighting himself for control of his own body!