STORYBOOK ROMANCE [Tommyinnit x Reader]

C21: How do you... do love?

You tried your hardest not to get the sudden realization of the crush you had on Tom Simons affect the rest of your day and the celebration Tommy has prepared with you with all your little friends. Good thing you're an actor and could keep the act up, but fucking hell it was hard— a role has never felt so.... pErSoNaL. You all enjoyed the rest of the night though. This is the latest you've stayed up, not gonna lie, it was a bit past 3am when you all decided to hit the haystack y'know?

But now it was almost 4am, you couldn't sleep, why? You ask, it's that post falling in love feeling. You laid down your bed, staring at the ceiling, incredibly lost in thought. You stared blankly into nothing, your thoughts flooded with the dramatic and loud blonde, his hair, his eyes, his laugh, his smile, the way he slightly bites his thumb when he's in deep thought, EVERYTHING, and it's absolutely killing you. This is EXACTLY how the movies go— but what if it's one of those scenes where he DOESN'T like you back— or what if it's one of those things where one of you would tragically die before you cold even say 'I love you!' But in all honesty, you wouldn't mind dying if it meant you wouldn't need to face the responsibility of admitting your feelings, or responsibility, in general.

God real feelings are so much more complicated than the ones you pretend you have when on camera- why are they so much more complicated?!

You want to tell Tommy you love him, but you're also afraid of telling him that you love him— I— IS THIS EVEN REAL LOVE? OR ARE YOU SO DEPRIVED OF IT FROM YOUR  CHILDHOOD THAT IT CONFUSES YOU ON WHAT IS OR IS NOT CONSIDERED ROMANTIC LOVE?!

WHAT EVEN IS LOVE? IS IT EDIBLE? QOAOCJAN

All your thoughts are jumbled, you are feeling nothing but panic and existential dread. "I thought love was supposed to be happy and sweet!" You mumbled quietly to yourself, "So why is it causing me so much dreaddddd." You groaned, stuffing your pillow into your face.

You let out a deep and shaky sigh. What should you do? In movies and whatnot, the main character would go to some older, more experienced person, in their lives for advice. That person is usually a parent, or an older sibling. You're an only child, so, that leaves your parents and, as you know, you and your parents aren't in the best of terms right now. They don't exactly approve of your friends, let alone would they help you in your feelings for one of said friends. God they made it look so easy on screen, YOU made it look so easy when you're on screen. The shitload of cheesy teen romcoms you acted in did NOT prepare you for this one. 

Why is it so hard? Why is it so complicated? God you just WISH someone could just simply write out your life for you! Just type in some words on a screen and just give you a happily ever after, if the author is merciful to their characters. Oh like in those little romantic fan-fictions people would write! You always found it endearing on how people would write you. You have seen some of their work, it's fantastic to see how people would interpret your media and turn it into sometime so grand. And sometimes they'd write you with themselves, or is inclusive to whoever's reading the story— an x reader is what they call it, it's a bit a strange but you find it lovely. God this would be SO much easier if this where a fanfic.

You sighed and sat up on your bed. You need a glass of [milk or water or whatever] you got off of bed, put on some little slippers and made your way out the door and down the stairs. Despite the absolute deafening noise that came from the house just an hour before, right now, it was just all quiet. It was peaceful, the only thing you can hear is faint snoring from the bedrooms and little crickets chirping outside, with gusts of wind to cause a natural world ambiance. You made your way into the kitchen area, grabbed a glass from a cupboard and to the refrigerator. You simply grabbed the drink of your liking and poured some into your cup with a sigh, "Why is it so hard?" You asked to no one but yourself.