望み [hope]

"perhaps, I'm lonely again"

“God you have to be kidding me, why did you have to pick me up??” I asked Ren, “Hmm, maybe because your shoes are untied, you might trip again.” He replied, “you could’ve just told me to tie my shoes!” I said, “true.” and then he looked away.

After the rain stopped, we started walking back to my house, when we reached there, I got to see something unexpected. All my furniture, things etc. were getting moved outside of my house.

“_____-san you haven't paid the rent that was due 2 months ago, you either pay the rent today or I will have to kick you out.” said the landlord, I ran up to the landlord and got on my knees, “please.. please let me stay for this week! I will pay you next week!” I begged, “can’t do. You have been saying that for the past 3 weeks! I can’t excuse you this time, gomen-nasai [sorry].” I didn’t realise tears were rolling down my cheeks. Where would I go? where was I supposed to get the money?

“Do you want to stay at my place?” Ren offered whilst wiping away my tears, “huh? But I don’t want to cause you any problems-”, “Shh, it’s alright. You can stay there as long as you want, I feel lonely there anyways.” Ren interrupted me. “arigato-gozaimasu! [Thank you!]” I thanked him.

•

I moved into his place the next week, his house was.. huge..  It was absolutely enormous, my house was nothing compared to this, I didn’t know he was rich.

“make yourself at home, ah and follow me, this way to your room.” Ren led the way while I just followed, as I walked into my room, it wasn’t as that big but it was pretty decent.

•

{a week later, 8:41pm, saturday}

Ren asked me to leave his house for the night, I asked “why?”, “when I was abroad on vacation, I met a really pretty and hot woman, her name is Chun-Ja, she’s from S.Korea. I met her at coffee shop, and now we are dating. She’s coming over today and well, we’re gonna go all night, so there will be a lot of.. you know.” Ren said awkwardly, as he said those last sentences, I felt my insides shatter.  “Ahh of course.. haha, I hope you both enjoy!” I smiled at him, damn it hurt, well honestly, it hurt a lot, but it’s okay, atleast he’s happy right? I waved at him as I walked away, I decided to call my friend Hana, she was my first female friend. I became friends with her when Ren was away, I asked her to come over, as I waited for her to arrive, I kept thinking about him, all those thoughts went away when she arrived, she came and hugged me tight, “how about a girls night?” she suggested, “sure.. but where should we go?” I asked, “how about the bar? I’m sure you have never been there!” she said. I had no choice but to agree, when we reached there, the party music was blasting, I could smell the alcohol and cigarettes from outside the bar. As we headed inside, Hana ordered 2 drinks for herself and me. This was my first time drinking alcohol, I was hesitant at first but I ended up drinking it anyways, after an hour or so, Hana got a call, “oh. I gotta go, my crazy ex is calling, gomen-ne _____-chan!!” she said as she left, “I’m alone again.” I thought. I decided to leave as there was nothing to do there, I didn’t want to call Ren to pick me up because I didn’t want to disturb him, so I called Haru instead, ‘the number that you have dialled is currently busy-’ .. everyone is busy huh? I was just about to leave when someone grabbed my arm, “hello there pretty princess, do you mind having a drink or two with us?” a random man asked me, “No and I would appreciate it if you’d let my arm go!” I said as I yanked my arm away, I was about to call Ren, I had no choice but to call him. As I dialled his number, I felt 2 men grabbing both my arms, the same unknown man came infront of me, “Won’t take no as an answer.” he grinned at me, I looked at my phone that was on the floor, he declined. I cried, tears rolling down my face, just then I heard, “HEY YOU!! LEAVE HER ALONE OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE!!!” it was Hana.. they dropped me and ran away, Hana ran towards me, hugged and comforted me as I cried in her arms. “It’s okay, they’re gone now..”

•

After all that, I went back to Ren’s place, I didn’t care anymore, I don’t care if they aren’t done yet. I just want to rest. As I got there, I saw him waving goodbye to Chun-Ja, I looked at her, she was perfect.. rosy cheeks, pale white skin, long silky-smooth hair, a bright smile that is worth millions, along with a perfect body, I can’t see why he wouldn’t fall for her. I walked towards his direction, “ahh ____, I was just about to call yo-” I didn’t let him finish, I just walked past him like he didn’t exist, ignoring his whole existence. I went to my room, laid on my bed, “Perhaps, I’m lonely once again.” I thought as I cried myself to sleep.

•

[A/N: thanks a lot to limluo for helping me with this chapter!!💗]