[Hidden Love] /Phillipa Soo& Sara Barreilles

Prologue

I'm dedicating this book to Trishy cuz gay rights :) orphicserenities

Pippas Pov

Since I was the age of 22, the age I graduated at Julliard, I had a goal of what I wanted to do with my life. I always wanted to go on a stage and perform professionally infront of a lot of people. Gladly I didn't have to wait that long until my dream came true, as I was first cast in the off-Broadway version of 'Natasha Pierre and the great comet of 1812' and then later on I originated the role of Eliza Hamilton in the very successful Broadway show 'Hamilton'. Life was treating me very good, if you're only looking at my career, but if you're looking at my love life it was a whole mess.

Over a year ago I was already engaged but I had some issues with my fiancé and I broke up with him for good. Since I broke up with him, I always had flings with mostly random people, just for fun, but I swore to myself, that I'd never get into a real relationship anymore. Actual relationships never ended good for me and it was all fun, until I got cast in the '2022 Into the woods' Broadway Production in June. To be honest, first I was pretty excited, since doing a Sondheim show on Broadway is every musical-theatre actor's dream but then I read whoelse was in the cast and I got all nervous because of some unpleasant memories.

I didn't get nervous because of Brian d'Arcy James or Patina Miller, I got nervous because of Sara Bareilles. For those of you who didn't know this yet, me and Sara have, how would you say it? A very special and unknown backstory and I've never been in the same room with her, since that one night.

17th November 2015

I just took the bow with the rest of the Hamilton Cast. The whole audience applauded as I was walking next to Lin off the stage. He then leaned over to me, like every night, to tell me, what celebrity sat in the audience this time. I never wanted to know it, before the performance since it would get me very nervous so I'm thankful for Lin for always telling it me afterwards. "Sara Bareilles is here." He whispered and my blood immediately froze and my heart started to beat faster. I continued walking down the stage but my mind was set somewhere else.

As we arrived Backstage, I immediately saw Sara and some other people waiting to congratulate us on our performance. I immediately went to Sara to ask her, what she's doing here. "What's this about?" I whispered confused at her, so nobody could hear me. "What? Can't I visit my girlfriend at work?" Sara whispered back with a smile and tried to hug me and pull me closer but as she said the world "Girlfriend" I immediately looked around to see, if someone heard her. "Come with me." I said then and dragged her to my dressing room. I got her into the room with me and closed the door behind me.

For those who still need an explanation, me and Sara were dating for about a half of a year at that time and we were getting along pretty good. In comparison to all the relationships I had with men, I was really happy when I was with her. The I only thing I was afraid of, was to tell the public that I'm a bisexual woman, who wanted to be with Sara Bareilles.

"You could've warned me that you'd be here tonight." I said louder. "I'm sorry I thought it'd be nice to surprise you. I didn't really think that'd be a big deal." Sara answered shrugging. "Yeah that's the problem you don't think." I said without thinking about it twice and immediately regretted it, as I saw Sara's hurt face. "I'm sorry, babe." I said immediately and approached to her, to hold her hand, but she backed off. "No it's alright. You're right. I don't think. Because if I was thinking, I would've realised that this whole hiding game is not worth it." Now I was the one who was looking confused at her. "What do you mean?"

"Damn Pippa it's the year 2015 and you still can't admit to the public that you want to be with a woman. I've been making compromises in your favour, since over a half of a year and I'm slowly getting tired of it. I really like you a lot and I wished things would be easier, but as long as it stays like this, I can't do this." As Sara was saying the last words, tears started to run down her face. "Are you breaking up with me?" I asked afraid, that I was right. "It's for the better, Pips." She said, before she left my dressing room without saying an another word.

And here I was sitting on the couch, thinking about my successful casting for 'Into the woods'. I haven't had any contact with Sara since we broke up and it made me nervous just to think about seeing her again. We'll see how this turns out since on Monday, we'll have the first rehearsals...

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Hope yall like this short prologue of my new fanfic. I just wanted to say that I probably won't update this as often as my Lippa fanfic but I'm giving my best to update it. Thanks Trishy for inspiring me to write this :)