how do you feel right after all

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"It's a blight on our family name!" Steve's father bellows, throwing kindling into the fire that rages in Steve's head.

"Oh, so when everyone knows you're banging that secretary of yours, what's her name? Amanda? That's fine? But when I have a few drinks it's-" his mother shrieks, crystal clear despite being several floors away.

"It's not a few drinks, you're a fucking alcoholic and don't care who knows it!"

They had been battling for close to half an hour, voices just quiet enough to keep the neighbors from knowing how the Harrington's weren't as perfect as they so desperately tried to seem.

"I am not an alcoholic! That's hardly what you should be concerned about when your son has no future and it's your fault!" Steve flinches when he's brought up. It's not uncommon. Most arguments end up being about how much of a disappointment he is.

"My fault?! I'm not the one who let him bounce from minimum wage job to minimum wage job! You're too soft on him!"

"Trust me, if I wanted to I'd do something about it in a heart beat! He just has no motivation!" Steve's mother screamed.

How desperately he wishes that he was anywhere but there. In fact, he was supposed to have picked up Will, El, and Mike from the Wheeler's house ten minutes ago. They were going to meet Eddie and the rest of the kids at the arcade, but he just can't bring himself to go downstairs and become the center of the argument yet again.

Sighing, he picks up the telephone and dialed the Wheeler's number. At the very least he should explain his absence. The kids deserve that much.

"Hello?" Will's quiet voice picks up. Steve can barely hear it over his parents shouting.

"Will? It's Steve," he replies, biting at his thumbnail. He's letting the kids down. He's always letting someone down, and now it's those poor kids who've been through so much.

"Oh, hey Steve, what's up? Where are you?" Will asks.

"Um, I don't know if I can come and pick you guys up. Can you ask Nancy to take you?" Steve feels bad just asking, but he can't just  leave them alone.

"She's out with Jonathon. Are you okay?" Will has the biggest heart of anyone Steve's ever met, rivaling only Eddie's. Of course he would be worried about Steve of all people.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. What about Mrs. Wheeler?" Steve offers. He won't hang up until he knows that there's a plan.

"She's out," Will says, guilt dripping from his tone. A stone drops into Steve's stomach. He's hurting this poor boy.

"Shit. I'm so sorry." He's going to have to suck it up. Be a man like his father always told him. His pathetic inability to be around his parents is dragging everyone around him down.

"No, it's okay. We'll find a ride. Don't worry about it. It's okay," Will tries to assure, but Steve's already made his mind.

"It's not. I'll- I'll be there in 15, okay?"

"Steve-" He doesn't let Will finish before hanging up.

All he has to do now is toughen up and walk downstairs. The Byer's were visiting for the summer to be with their friends, and Steve's stopping them because he can't just go downstairs.

After a few moments, he takes a deep breath. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever they say, he deserves. It's true, after all.

Just as Steve starts walking across his room like a prisoner on his way to the execution chamber, the doorbell rings. The arguing stops. Slowly, he creeps into the hall to eavesdrop without alerting his parents.

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