sing you songs full of sad things

everything's all right, just hold on tight

Sweat runs down Steve's forehead as he careens towards, almost falling off the bed and nearly taking Eddie with him. Sleep had left him too suddenly and his heart was pumping.

Sometimes the nightmares felt realer than real, haunting him through the rest of the day.

Other times, though, all he woke up with was the feeling of terror and a body pumped full of adrenaline. As was the case tonight. This morning?

A glance at the clock reveals the time to be just past midnight. They'd only been asleep for a couple hours.

All he remembers from the dream was a pulling on his ankle, Robin's screams, a tail around his neck, Max floating, and the glint of his fathers wedding ring as his hand came down.

"Stevie?" Eddie whispers into the dark room, voice gruff from sleep and sending sparks down Steve's back. "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just got spooked, 's all," Steve grumbles sleepily, closing his eyes and rolling back into Eddie's arms. The part of him that wanted to remind himself that he was making Eddie deal with him was lost in how warm Eddie's body was against his own.

"You sure? You were thrashing around and saying something. Was it a nightmare?" Eddie asks, innocently. Steve freezes, squeezing his eyes tighter like he could block out the truth.

"Oh, sweets, it's okay. Why didn't you tell me you got nightmares?" A hand runs up and down Steve's broad chest soothingly.

"I, I don't," he insists. Eddie can't deal with his problems. He's just being selfish. Eddie has enough going on and has far more reasons to have nightmares than Steve does. He'll know how pathetic Steve is.

What right did Steve have to wake up screaming? Max had been under Vecna's curse twice. Eddie had to watch Chrissy break on his ceiling. Dustin held him while Eddie was dying. And none of them were as dramatic as Steve was. Just because he couldn't win a fight. "I'm sorry."

"No, no more sorries, okay?" Eddie says. Warm lips tickle the back of Steve's neck. He represses a content sigh. "You're allowed to have nightmares. Shit, after years of monster fighting I'd say it's expected. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to bother you," Steve whimpered pitifully. Thank God he was facing away from Eddie so he couldn't see the way Steve's lower lip wobbled.

"What? Why would you be a bother?" The heart-broken warble shatters Steve. He's hurting Eddie. Again. What's wrong with him? Why can't he do something, anything, good?

"I just. You're, you're busy and I just, I should be able deal with something as stupid as this. I'm sorry, but, b-but you were more important and you were having nightmares and you didn't deserve that and-" The more he talks, the more tears started choking him. He was ruining everything.

"Calm down, gorgeous, calm down," Eddie consoles, resuming the petting motion against Steve's chest.

"Why- why do you call me those names?" Steve hiccups. He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but he'd been thinking about it since the first time. It was almost like Eddie knew how Steve melted every time he heard it, how his stomach dropped like he was riding a roller coaster.

"Because they're true," he whispers, holding the boy closer to him. "You're gorgeous. I'm here for you. Always. Even if that mean part of your brain wants you to think that I'll be annoyed if you ask for help, I won't. I promise."

"No, you will. They always are. I can't do that to you. I can't make you hate me Ed's, please don't hate me." Steve can't stop picturing Eddie's face when he finally realized how weak he was, what a burden he was. Images of Eddie walking away, glaring at him, shouting at him flashed in his mind. A sob gets caught in his throat and he couldn't breathe.