The Cuckoo's Song

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Abe and Sam sat out in the garden, both of them enjoying the cool early October night. Gabby was inside reading, Heidi out in town with some friends, and Anna was putting Elli to bed.

Abe was enjoying one of the cigars that Hollywood had sent him, his feet up on another chair in front of him as he watched the smoke waft into the air. Abe had managed to send Hollywood a letter thanking him for all that he had done. He also told them about their loss, hence why a lavish pack of cigars was sent back to him.

Sam shot his friend a glance. Abe knew why.

Abe hadn't stopped worrying about Anna since the miscarriage. She was trying her best to hide how desperately sad she was, but he knew. At least he had been there with her. He owed Hollywood and Sam so much.

It was only days later that the news arrived that the Japanese had surrendered. The war was finally at its end. Hollywood had written to Abe. Most of the boys were staying for the occupation until their points sent them home. It was only a few weeks after that that Sam arrived with them at the house. He'd earned his last points and had been discharged. Abe was so glad to see him again; he didn't want to admit how much he needed someone else to talk to. What if he hurt Anna more by her thinking that he didn't want to discuss what had happened? But she understood and told him as much. She was happy to see Sam again as well.

Now, it was about getting to America.

They had found out that a ship was leaving Dover, England in November; it was said to be the first that was accepting 'war brides.' Abe was determined that they were getting on it; Sam too. Heidi's friend had helped push through the adoption process for them. Anna's heart certainly seemed to lift when Abe gave her and Elli the news that he was now officially her adoptive parent. They had their family of three, and in the end, that was all they truly needed.

Sam sighed, breaking the still. "I really can't understand why you like those things. Even the smell is enough to put me off."

Abe chuckled. "Man, I love that smell. Couldn't have them all the time, mind you... but still. Ain't nothin' sweeter than a cigar and a good glass of bourbon." Abe lifted his glass and took a sip. "You know, if you'd said a year ago that this is where we'd be, I'd never have believed you."

"I wouldn't either," laughed Sam. "Europe has been..." He couldn't find the right word. "You've done all right out of it though," Sam pointed out. "A wife and a kid. Who'd have thought it."

"I'm a very lucky man."

There was a pause.

"How are you both holding up?" asked Sam.

Letting out a long breath, Abe couldn't stifle a grimace. "Anna's still beatin' herself up about it all. I hate it."

"But why?"

"She thinks she's failed me."

"Oh God..."

"I know. It's crazy. And I don't know what to say to make it better. When I try to comfort her and say that I'm at peace with it, she thinks me indifferent. And if I show her I'm sad about it, it plays up to the idea that she's done something wrong. I can't win."

Conjuring the right placating words, Sam shuffled closer. "Abe she's going to be mixed up about it all. Not just because of what's in her head, but pregnancy is a big change in a woman. She's experiencing a physical loss as well as an emotional one. And especially after losing one before, it's bound to have shaken her up."

"I know, I know," sighed Abe. "I can't stand seeing her so sad though, Sam. It's the worse fuckin' thing I've ever seen." There was a pause. "She has the same look in her eye that Rick did..."