The Cuckoo's Song

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Abe had no idea how to console Anna. She hadn't really spoken when he'd got her back to the hotel, only giving him a brief summary of her talk with Klara. He'd taken her to their room, holding her whilst she cried and let it out.

It pained him in so many different ways to see her in such turmoil. He had wanted to throttle Hans. The minute he'd seen him, he wanted to squeeze the life from him. How could he have ignored her all of these years? Was it truly because he had seen them together and realised she was happier with him? Or was it because he was honourable enough to know that Anna would be torn between the two of them, and it wasn't fair to upset her.

Abe's heart hammered in his chest. He glanced up at Anna now, who was putting their things away. She was checking through the emergency baby bag Ma had insisted they take just in case the baby decided to make an early appearance. Abe couldn't shake the way they had looked at one another from his mind. Did she regret not talking to him? Did she still miss him? Did she still love him? That thought cut him so deeply. He got up from the bed, now wrapping his arms around her and kissing her cheek.

Anna stopped what she was doing, lacing her fingers with his and sitting them on her bump. She let out a long breath, nestling herself into her husband's embrace.

"Everything accounted for?" he mumbled, both of them glancing at the bag.

"Yes," sighed Anna. "She's packed everything under the sun."

"You know what she's like," he said, Anna managing a small smile. There was a pause, both of them knowing it was time to talk about what had happened. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, turning her to look at him.

"I don't know," she admitted, her gaze focused on the floor.

"It's gonna have been a big shock," said Abe slowly, Anna nodding in agreement.

"I'm not sure how to feel about it all," she said quietly. "I suppose we will need to talk at some point-"

"But when you're ready," insisted Abe. "This has gotta be on your terms."

"He's waited years to talk to me."

"Fuck him. That was his choice."

"Abe-"

"I'm serious," he reiterated. "He has no right to expect you to welcome him with open arms."

"I don't think that's the case," she mumbled. There was another silence. He could see that she was torn, and he truly hated it.

"Do you wanna see him?" Abe asked quietly.

Anna sniffed, tears brimming in her eyes again. "I-" she started, choked by her emotion.

Abe cupped her face, Anna kissing his fingertips.

"I feel like I'm back in the camp again."

"What d'ya mean, baby?"

"I can't explain it," she managed. "I feel so uneasy, so unsure of myself. I felt like it the minute we stepped off the plane. I'm going to see Ernst again, and it's been eating away at me. And knowing Hans is here only makes it worse."

She was really crying again now, Abe's brow furrowed in angst. "This is just like when Hans left me behind... when I first heard his voice on the telephone. I feel so betrayed and angry. But it felt so good to see him-"

Anna hung her head in shame, her tears spilling onto Abe's fingers. "I haven't seen him since the day he left. I suppose I wanted to look up and see the man I had missed. But I didn't. I just saw the man that left my sister to die... the man that abandoned me." She pulled Abe in closer, rubbing her nose into his chest for comfort. "I hate him."