Once Upon A Chance

Chapter Seventeen

For years, I religiously followed my policy not to be involved in complicated relationships. But when Marco barged into my life, everything that I stood for flew out of the window.

Last night, he didn't stop apologizing. He ran after me and stopped me from leaving until I heard his explanation. If not for Ruth, he wouldn't let me go. He called me non-stop until midnight, but no matter what he did, it wouldn't take away the hurt and confusion.

Ruth scolded me. She said I was stubborn to enter a relationship without even clearing out the terms, and most importantly, to admit I have feelings for a guy who clearly hasn't moved on from his former flame. The sex might be good, the kisses might be hot, but it doesn't remove the fact that I was only the substitute.

But what I hate the most is it never felt like I was a substitute. My connection and chemistry with Marco were undeniable. The first time we met in Batanes, we already clicked. It felt like he knew me and I knew him, too. That's why I was comfortable with our relationship, even without labels. That's why I was willing to let go of the shield I held for so long.

Marco keeps calling and sending messages on how sorry he is, on how he wants to talk blah blah blah. I want to meet him too, to listen to what he has to say, butI don't trust myself enough for it.

"Aya," Mom knocks on my bedroom door. I am about to tell her to get inside when she comes in. "Can we talk?"

I nod and move to make a space for her. She hands me a cup of my favorite hot chocolate before sitting beside me on the bed.

"I know you're having a tough time," She puts her head on my shoulder. My mom's hair smells like cinnamon and sugar, meaning she baked cookies just like that time when I was thirteen. "You can always talk to me."

"Mom," Tears are streaming down my eyes. "I'm sorry." She brushes my hair to comfort me. "Sorry for being a stubborn daughter, for making decisions without telling you, for quitting my job."

"Sssssh," She wipes my tears with her thumb. "Sometimes things happen because you have to learn from them," Mom lifts my chin to look me straight in the eyes. "We were mad when you quit without telling us, when we thought you're making careless decisions," Then she smiles at me. "But we also learned that you're young and it's normal for you to make mistakes. By making mistakes, you learn," She puts a strand of my hair behind my ear. I stop crying. "And your dad and I are not perfect. We realized that we're too imposing and we never talked to you about your feelings. We're sorry."

I hold my mom's hand and smile at her. "Thank you, Ma. I never said it but I love you and dad," My words has made her tear up. "I'm not a perfect daughter but I will make you proud."

Her tears fall and it's my turn to wipe them off her face. She kisses me on the cheek and we both laugh.

"Now about that guy...Marco," She nudges me. "Is he your boyfriend now?"

I clear my throat and grab the pillow behind me. Mom senses that I am trying to avoid the conversation because she starts giving out advice.

"As I said before, your dad and I want you to be happy," She started. I never had a serious talk with my mom about guys or relationships before, so this is a first. "You're a precious woman, and I believe Marco saw that. Always remember that you should love yourself first then everything will follow."

Moms have the ability to know the right words to say at the right time, at the right place. I don't have to underline everything, she just knows.

"Mom," I sob.  She welcomes me into her arms.  She kisses me on the forehead before getting up.

"I baked you cookies."

That moment, I remember my thirteen-year old self who was going through puberty, not embarrassed to talk to my mom about my crushes at school. I know now what's missing.

My relationship with my parents has never been the same since I went to college, most especially when dad started to work abroad. I was the one who withdrew from them because I thought I was old enough to be on my own. From now on, I will do my best to restore our bond.

I wipe my tears and follow my mom to the kitchen.

•••

No matter what you're going through, you should not let your pain bring you down. That's why I decide to go back to Southwood to talk to Mrs. Ordonez.

She is open to my idea of re-selling my shirts for an upcoming student council event. I mention that there is a lack of promotion on my side which is why we did not sell well. The Student Government president, Vice President, and Secretary are also present for the meeting. This school year's Southwood Student Government body is being headed by a senior, who is the sister of my former classmate. She says she heard about me from her Ate.

During the meeting, we sign an agreement to sell my shirts at their event this weekend. It's going to be a forum for senior students where accomplished alumni will deliver speeches. The event will start at three in the afternoon, so that gives me enough time to prepare after my class.

"So we'll see you on Saturday, Ate Aya," Ashley, the president, says before leaving the office. I nod and give them my mobile number. When it's my turn to go, Mrs. Ordonez shakes my hand and thanks me for the shirts they wore last Foundation Day.

"It's my pleasure to serve Southwood in any way that I can, Ma'am," I say. It's true though. Southwood has been an important part of my life. It's where I met my best friends, and where I honed my love for the arts.

"You can always seek my help in promoting your shirts," Mrs. Ordonez taps me on the shoulder. "You have the talent."

Mrs. Ordonez words are more than enough to motivate me. I thank her for the offer and promise to design shirts again for Foundation Day next year.

When I get home, there's a bouquet of white roses waiting for me.

Please give me another chance. I miss you.
-Marco

I almost take the bouquet with me to my room, until the image of Janine  kissing Marco invades my mind.

Not anymore, I tell myself.