Anchor *scomiche*

Chapter 4 - Good News Bad News

Scott stood by the counter with his hands clasped in front of him, listening as Donate Life talked to the three other people in the room. Although the news was good for the recipients and their families, his heart hurt for his patient's family. It wasn't taking care of the patient that was the worst; that was part of his job and he loved critical care. It was the family and friends they would leave behind when they passed and witnessing their grief during the process.

"We ran all the tests for Mr. Grassi, and he is able to donate his kidneys and liver, along with tissue for various purposes. The next step is to locate recipients, which should not take long; I would guess about 12 hours. After that, a surgeon that can procure the organs will be scheduled to come and do the surgery."

Mitch's heart lurched. This was it. They now had a narrowed window of time to spend with him, to say goodbye. It was too narrow. He felt his face begin to flush and his hands shook. His mom and sister were in chairs beside his bed. The feeling was visceral and heavy; they knew their time was limited, too. He looked out the window into the darkness of night. They were all exhausted. His mom refused to leave his dad's bedside, so she had been staying the night. He and Jess would go home to rest; he wasn't sure that much sleep would happen tonight since tomorrow would be the day.

"Do you have any questions for me at this time?" Elaine, according to the name on her tag, spoke softly and with compassion. Everyone they had come across had all been wonderful. With the memory of this lingering with them forever, so would the kindness of the staff. Even though the anxiety in the room was palpable, it felt better that Scott was a constant presence with them.

"No, thank you," his mother said quietly. "Please just keep us updated when you know."

"Of course. I'll be right out in the pod; Scott can get me if you need anything." Elaine left the room, and it was quiet once again.

"I need to go grab some things for Mike, I'll be back shortly." Scott knew that they needed to be alone right now to process this new information. "I'm thankful that I'm able to be with you through this, you are a wonderful family." He smiled and exited the room. Mitch stared at the closed door, thinking of their earlier conversation. Scott defying their 4th grade teacher and being scolded entered his mind and he smirked at the imagery.

"He's been amazing to him and us," his mom said. She reached over and grabbed her husband's hand, running her other hand up and down his arm. "Mike gets to save other people." Tears ran down her cheeks and she laid her head down on his hand. "We just have to lose him first. Is it selfish of me to want to never let him go? I know this is what he wanted but it's too soon. It's too soon."

Jess began to cry next to her mom while Mitch looked out the window again. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want to talk, or even feel anymore. "I'll be right back," he said and left the room. He walked down the hallway and sat on a bench, holding his head in his hands. His head was pounding, and he took deep breaths to calm the tidal wave. It was what his dad had wanted. He was worried about how his mom would do once this was over. He would have to go back to LA eventually and Jess would go back to Okinawa. How would they all continue with a life without his dad in it? Their family had always been close; this will feel like losing a limb.

He felt the spot next to him shift and he looked up to see Scott. "Hey... how're you holding up?"

"I'm... to be honest, shitty. Exhausted." He moved his head around to loosen up some muscles. "How do you do it, Scott? How do you watch people die, and deal with people like us on top of it? How do you not go insane?"

Scott looked down at his clasped hands. "I've been a nurse for almost ten years, a critical care one for four. I went into it because I love taking care of people and seeing them get better." He shrugged. "In this profession, there is some bad that comes with the good. I come in and do my best to get my patients back to baseline, and I love when I can say goodbye when they go. When I came into critical care, I knew that the number of people that would get to leave would decrease. At the same time the staff is more like family here. We all work closely together to try and save a patient who is in a very vulnerable place. I've seen everything but the one thing it has always done is keep me humble. It's a privilege to take care of patients. And I get to meet their crazy family members." He bumped into Mitch with a facetious smile.

Mitch let out a short laugh. "That I am."

"It does get very stressful, and I have gotten burned out at times. But I love what I do. I do as much self-care as possible to keep myself grounded. I run with my dog, travel as much as I can, read Stephen King, drink coffee, etcetera etcetera. There are some patients that have stuck with me, your dad is one of them. It truly has been an honor getting to know him, and your mom is wonderful. They've had a good life together, there is no doubt... I'm just really sorry that this happened."

Mitch nodded. "Thank you. You might not know it but you're comforting to me... to us." He took a deep breath and they both stood up. "I need to go scoop Jess up and go home for the night. I'll just plan for us to be here a bit earlier in the morning."

They both walked side by side to the room in silence.

***

Morning came all too soon. Mitch didn't think he ever went into a deep sleep, merely dozed in a space of sleepy consciousness. The day ahead loomed over them as he and Jess got ready in silence. The weather was appropriately cloudy with the sun peaking through every so often for a few seconds.

They stopped at Starbucks on the way, there was no argument over that. They arrived on to the unit, bearing boxes of coffee and assorted baked goods for the staff. Everyone smiled and thanked them, especially for the coffee. Mitch's eyes looked for Scott, but he didn't see him right away. He came out of his other patient's room and smiled. "Hey." His gaze moved to the stuff from Starbucks and his smile grew bigger. "Did you do this?"

"We did, Jess and I. As a thank you." He smiled back, feeling his face warm a little.

"This is great, I'll be getting some GOOD coffee in a minute. The stuff in the cafeteria leaves much to be desired. I'm gonna go grab a couple meds for your dad and be right back. Thanks, Mitch, this was nice of you."

Never forget to say thank you, son, when someone does something for you or says something nice. You don't know what people are going through and hearing those words will always make someone's day."

His father's words reverberated in his head as he went into his room for the last time.