Yuki

8. Hungover

He woke up. He was hungry but he didn't want to eat. He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to ignore the sunlight that was slipping through the curtains. Eyes closed, he felt around on his nightstand. He drank from a 2 day old glass of water and shivered. When he finally managed to pull himself out of his bed, his head protested. He sat back on the bed and felt his head. 

After taking some pill he found in his cabinet that looked like it releved headaches, he sat on the couch and continued looking through pictures. More of Kai's dumb smile. More of Ms. Yuki's salt and pepper hair. More of his own adolecent face. 

"I dont know if my heart can take this." He muttered, closing the book and stashing it under the couch. He closed his eyed and fell asleep again. 

When he awoke for the second time, it was late noon. His head felt like it ws pounding at his skull and his stomach growled angrily. When he stood, he almost collapsed. He managed to get a glass of some alcoholic drink and old chicken from a few nights ago. He forced the chicken down, along with the drink. He turned his TV on but it wasnt long before he fell asleep. 

When the sun in his window roused him, he realized he couldn't stand. Yesterdays headache paired with todays hangover and his everlasting hunger. He felt cold yet he was sweating and everywhere hurt. He pressed his arm against his forehead. His hair was wet and stuck to his arm. He pulled himself off the couch despite the splitting pain from his head and the rest of his body protesting. He splashed cold water on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had bags under his eyes, they seemed to be much darker since he started officially teaching. His hair needed to be washed and was stuck to his face. He moved the ring on his finger to the bathroon counter and lied back down on the couch. He stared at the ceiling. 

Shit. 

I should've taken something while I was in the bathroom. 

I don't want to get up.

I'm so hungry but at the same time, I'm not. 

Jesus, what happened to me?

What am I even doing?

Why did I have to drink that? I never drink. Why do I even have that? 

What's happening to me?

Why am I doing this to myself?

Sometimes I hope heaven and angels aren't real so he wouldn't have to see me like this.

I miss him. 

I miss him so much. 

I need to eat. I need water. I'll do that once this headache goes away. If it ever does. Maybe it'll kill me. 

Oh, why am I thinking like that. It's obviously not gonna kill me. I wish he was here. I wish I was with him.