reciprocate

chapter 20

april 12th, 2021
priscilla jean townsend
i woke up and ty was kissing on my cheek whispering shit, i couldn't even comprehend cause i was still half sleep.
once i finally opened my eyes all the way he was now facing me i pecked his lips. he said "you be knocked every time i try to wake you, sleep."

i said "we was up late babe."

he said "i know, i got plans for us today tho."

i said "what kinda plans?"

he said "the kind you finna get dressed for so we can go," before kissing my lips again.

i got up and into the shower. when i got out i did a swoop on my natural hair curling it cause i had got a silk press like a week ago and it looked nice.

ty said "you so beautiful, wear sum comfortable babe."

i said "okay."

i threw on his cream colored button down with some ripped jean shorts, i button a few button the front tucking one side in leaving the other out. i took his cream and pink hat and put on socks then my cream and pink nike dunks he found.

under the shirt i had on a matching all lace bra. i paired it with my bubblegum pink medium size teflar bag and was ready.

i took a couple pictures before ty came into the closet. he said "not you looking better innit then me. fine ass."

i kissed his lips and he pulled me towards him grabbing my ass. he looked fine as fuck too and i looked him up and down.

he said " get fucked, come on p ."

i laughed and followed him. he opened my door and waited for me to get in before kissing my lips and closing my door.

he got in and said "i love ya face."

i licked the side of his face and kissed his temple. i said "i love yours more."

he drove to this park where he had a whole set up. it was a lil picnic set up for us with a whole plate covered and some paint with canvases.

he opened my door and we went to sit. we talked about our goals, where we wanna start our family at, our favorite things, and more.

he asked "so you would rather move to georgia or  back to philly?"

i said "georgia, it's too much baggage in philly. i don't want either of us looking over our shoulder 24/7 cause delusional ass people."

he said "you really think that nigga would try me."

i frowned a bit and said "it ain't even bout that, i already know what you would do. my thing is why put our selves in the situation to begin with when we have the opportunity to literally go anywhere."

he said "i thought you'd wanna be close to ya mama when we have our first baby."

i said "honestly i'd rather be closer to your mama. my mama is there when important shit needa go down but other than that she always been distant. why you think i didn't leave for so long? wasn't like i had somebody that showed that they truly loved me to go back to."

he said "don't even stress that ma, i don't want you to get into a negative mindset." he pulled me so i was sitting between his legs.

i said "i should be able to talk bout it with out being in a negative mindset. i know with you i'm in a safe secure place, im not worried bout anything. you make sure everything is taken care of plus some."

he pulled my chin up kissing my lips. he said "always if you ever not comfortable though i want you to be able to say it to anyone everyone. people belittling you ya whole life made you somewhat lose that beautiful voice. i don't like that, cause i could listen to you talk all day long."

i kissed his lips gently and said "my mom would get home from work and that's when she would just do her own thing. she really wasn't the one taking care of me like that, i went to daycare/school then my grandma would get me. i would stay with her until she dropped me off at my mom's at 9 when mom got off. by then she put me right to bed and was always gone in the morning. my grandma came did my bath, got me ready. my mom didn't start acting like a mom til it was too late."

he said "damn that's fucked up pri, you ain't deserve that at all. how old was she when she had you? and round what age you feel like she started trying?"

i said "she had me at 22 and she started trying maybe when i turned 14 but by then i was in middle school mind on everything but her. i was always at a friend's house and never home, i stopped tryna fight for her attention."

he was listening and was rubbing my leg gently as i sunk into him talking. he said "and after you stopped fighting for her attention?"

i sighed and said "just got into the wrong shit, i graduated and did what i was supposed to in school. but i started seeking attention in other people."

he said "and how old were you when you and homeboy got together."

i said "17, i had messed with him since i was 16 though. deadass moved out and my mom gon say congrats, to her teenage daughter. i'd fight my baby if at 17 she thought she was moving out, like where you going."

he said "yeah my kids ain't going no where."

i said "exactly but i'm not gon be like my mom. i wanna be an active mom, be the one who picks them up, picks out their clothes and gives them their baths. theirs moments i know ima forever cherish because i never had those with my mom. but anyways back to the bitch ass nigga. yeah so everything was cool until one day he wanted to get physical and i didn't, he did as he pleased regardless. from that day on, he knew exactly how to break me whenever he'd please. cause he knew no matter what he said i would mostly do so he wouldn't put his hands on me in that way again. and he did plenty of times, which is probably why coming out of that relationship i was hyper sexual but still overcome with fear of actually having sex."

his grip tightened on me as i spoke, i don't talk about this shit usually, so actually saying everything out loud just be like an emotional trauma dump. i said "sorry that was a lot."

he said "don't apologize. you never need to apologize especially when you telling me something as serious as what you just said pri. that nigga is a fucking lame and i promise all his bad karma gon come, long as you are safe, happy, secure, and healing now is all i'm worried about ma. i wanna make sure you are ok, that you feel like we rush-"

i cut him off and turned so i was facing him staring in his eyes. i said "nah listen i rationally said yes to you, i see my future with you, you always make me feel safe and take note of little things, the energy is forever reciprocated. whether it was the day we met, today, or 5 years in the future, i would've still said yes. yes, we're young but that means we get to create a lifetime full of memories. i love you."

he pulled my ass towards him kissing on my lips, he said "i love you more."