(Y'all, I just started college recently. I would update this more often but for the past two weeks I've basically been moving out, moving in, and settling in and doing classes. But I will try my best to update this story once a week or more. I feel guilty for not touching it for a few days😭 I'm so sorryyy!)
"Sukuna started throwing hands at school today."
"What?! What happened?"
Toji and Megumi were at the supermarket shopping. Shopping for what? The author doesn't even know herself. Toji can't afford too much in there anyways.
"This kid was trying to bully me and Yuji."
"Bullying? You know if you have a problem with bullying you can just call me."
"I know damn well you'll fuck a kid up that's messing with me, but a lot of times I don't care. I usually just talk myself out of it and if needed, I could knock someone out."
"I'm proud of you, all that teaching and training didn't go towards nothing."
"The things that you've taught me are criminal...literally. I shouldn't know at this age how to rob a bank but if I wanted to I could do it without getting caught because of you. That's really weird now that I think about it."
"That'd be nice to raise a little partner in crime."
"Amari wouldn't let that happen. She'd kill you."
"She would, but continue with the story."
"Anyways, this kid just shoved me and tried to make fun of me for having two dads. It doesn't bother me it's not like you guys like each other, it's the complete opposite. Yuji asked Sukuna to help and he refused and then the kid started talking shit on Amari."
"HE WHAT?! What's the name and address?"
"Dad, the kid already got punched up by Sukuna. Anyways, yea Sukuna hopped on him quicker than you tried to dip out of fatherhood."
"Wow? He was THAT fast?"
"I know right. He was like the flash, I didn't think it would be possible to be faster than you when it comes to avoiding parenting responsibilities but he pulled it off."
Toji grabbed a pack of ramen off the shelf and threw it in the cart. "Wait, isn't that the kid that was at the arcade the other night?"
"Yea he was with us. He had a whole change of heart after that night, I have no clue what happened."
"Me either. Did you want anything? Like from the store?"
"Happiness?"
"They don't sell that here. Also, that's a very rare thing to achieve in life."
"I guess I'll have to settle for Amari and my friends then."
"What about me?"
Megumi pulled out his fake plastic phone. "Ohh would you look at that, someone's calling me. I gotta take this." Megumi walked off into the toys aisle and left Toji by his lonesome.
Damn, he really did me dirty like that. Toji thought to himself. Now that I think about it...why did I get a cart if I can only afford one ramen cup?
Toji found all that he needed and called out to Megumi.
"Megumi!"
"What?"
"I'm ready to go."
"Did you get your ramen?"
"Oh yea. I'm ready to pay for it." Toji took out his wallet and dug around in it for a good 5 minutes trying to find something.
"Dad, did you bring money?"
"You think they accept lint as a form of payment?"
Megumi shook his head in response.
"You know what? I got an idea." He shoved the ramen cup in his pants. "I'll just tell the people up front I took a bunch of viagra and it hasn't worn off yet."
Megumi's jaw dropped to the floor. "....You're so disgusting. Let's just go before you get yourself caught."
The two dudes left the store and started walking in the parking lot to look for Toji's cardboard mobile. He took the ramen out of his pants.
"It worked like a charm! I even got that girl's number that worked at the front."
"She's gonna be heart broken when she finds out you were lying and it was really just a damn ramen cup."
"Well then I'll just deal with that when it happens. I can't wait to eat this when I get home. I'm starvi-
SWOOSH!
Someone in a hood dashed past Toji and stole his ramen cup right out his hands.
"Aww c'mon did you just get robbed? Again?"
"This is like the third time! For a damn ramen cup!" Toji began to yell. "Heyy! That ramen has had dick on it! Specifically 8 inches! WITH GIRTH! GIVE IT BACK I AM A STARVING MAN."
"DAD!!"
"Oh shit I forgot you were here. Forget what I just said I'm sorry."
I'm gonna go unalive myself one more time.
"Don't worry about this Megumi, I have a way to get the ramen back."
"What's the way?"
"Cover your ears." Megumi did as his father instructed.
BANG!
BANG BANG!
"DID YOU JUST SHOOT HIM!!?"
"Noooooo, I only tapped him lightly with bullets." Toji snatched up his ramen cup. "You should think twice before trying to put your hands on another man's food bastard." Toji sneered at the man that was now lifeless on the floor. (😭bro I'm sorry)
*WEEEE WOOOOO WEEEEE WHOOOO WEEEE WOOOO 🚨 *
"Shit! It's 12! Megumi, get in the cardboard mobile."
"This is literally so humiliating."
Toji scooped up Megumi making a dash for his cardboard mobile. (Powered by pedaling it like a bicycle) and he squeaked his way out of the parking lot to escape the police.
They finally got home. Toji sweating like a hooker in church and Megumi just staring at him judgmentally.
"You really killed someone for ramen?"
"Son, in this world, it's eat, or be eaten. I'll do anything to survive."
"Yea, anything except follow the law."
"Well, I got my ramen cup and that's all that matters."
"Bro, I hope you don't go to jail AGAIN! Then I'll literally have to stay with Gojo until your back since he's my legal guardian. And then he would just drop me off at Amari's."
"If the cops come to the door, I'll just say it was self defense. Easy Peasy."
"....I can't believe you. I'm telling Amari and we'll see what she has to say about this."
"Megumi! You can't! She'll literally neuter me."
"Should've thought about that before you decided to KILL someone over RAMEN!"
"It was self defense! He stole from me and I shot him."
"Okay yes, he did try and rob you but you didn't have to shoot him. You could've tased him. You have all kinds of weapons on you at all times."
"Shooting was the easiest. Anyways, I'm gonna go enjoy this ramen. Did you want any?"
"No, I wouldn't take away your only source of food. I'll get something from Amari."
"Ouu can I come?"
"No, she hates you dude. I just want peace for tonight."
"Alright. More for me! I'll see you later."
"Bye dad."
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of Megumi and Toji
HumorComedy shorts about Megumi's life with Toji as his father. Megumi is the son to single father, Toji Fushiguro. His other dad, Satoru Gojo, also tries his best to take care of Megumi. Toji hates Gojo with a passion, Gojo just has fun with it though. ...
