Pairing: Kim Doyoung and Kim Jungkyu
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Doyoung was on his bathroom, locked himself while crying hard.
He doesn't love you!
You're a jerk!
No one loves you!
You're a loser!
He don't deserve you!
"stop! Please stop!" he said while covering his ears, sobbing uncontrollably.
The reason why he locked up himself and sobbing hard was jungkyu. The one and only Kim Jungkyu, his favourite hyung.
Doyoung loves jungkyu more than just a brother nor a member. He have feeling for the older romantically yet he doesn't want to tell jungkyu about his feelings nor any of the members.
He was afraid that if he tell them about his true self, he was afraid they might hate him specially jungkyu. He doesn't want to risk their beautiful friendship just because of his feelings.
But it was hard. It was hard to just keep it for himself. It was hard to remain silent and just watch the man he loves having feeling for someone else who's not him. How he wish that jungkyu would fall for him too. But no, jungkyu loves someone else and that someone was no other than Haruto, his dongsaeng.
"why can't you just fall for me hyung? Why?!" he was crying hard that he was already chocking by his own sobs. Breathing wasn't normal anymore yet he can't stop himself from crying "it hurt" he said almost whispering due to crying hard.
"Doyoung are you there?" the younger flinched the moment he heard a voice from outside his bathroom. It was his Jihoon hyung. He quickly composed himself.
"Doyoungie are you okay?" Jihoon asked again when he didn't receive a reply from the younger. Worried was vivid on his voice.
"Y-Yeah hyung I'm fine" Doyoung said after composing himself. "do you need anything hyung?" he asked again.
"I just want to tell you that dinner is ready" jihoon said.
"yeah I'll be their in a minute, thank you hyung" the younger said.
"hmm come down quickly ok" the older again said.
"hmm, yeah I will" the younger assured the older. He then heard footsteps slowly disappeared and concluded that his jihoon hyung already left.
He looked himself on the mirror. He was exhausted and tired, his eyes are swollen due to crying, if he go out like that his members surely would be worried about him and he don't want that to happen.
Without his consent a drop of tears automatically rolled down his eyes. Again.
He quickly wipe the tears away and readied himself for the dinner.
It was a normal day for the group. The members went to the company to practice for their next comeback. After an hour of dancing on hard choreo's they decided to take a brake as they already felt exhausted. Jungkyu went to grab his bottle of water and drunk it. Doyoung did the same thing. After drinking, doyoung decided to talk to his jungkyu hyung a bit so he went to jungkyu who is now sitting on the floor. The younger sat down beside the older.
"are you okay hyung?" the younger asked.
"hmm, yeah I'm good, just a bit tired you know" the older replied then chuckled. The younger just nod in response.
"how about you, are you okay?" the older asked.
"yeah I'm good, besides I'm flexible you know" doyoung replied jokingly as he laugh.
"yeah, yeah you're flexible" jungkyu then laughed at the younger remarks.
They both laugh at their silliness. Doyoung was happy that he got a chance to be with the person he love. He was happy that jungkyu was happy with him. But that happiness quickly died down when he heard jungkyu's name being called by someone, and it was none other than Haruto.
Haruto sat down beside jungkyu and give him foods that they brought outside. They both share their food, Haruto also asked doyoung to eat with them but the latter declined. He said that he was not hungry. Jungkyu also tried to persuade the younger to eat but he just said that he need to maintain his diet. The two males just give up and eat the food.
Haruto and jungkyu was happily eating, laughing time to time. Its seems like they were in their own world that they even forget that doyoung was with them. It hurt doyoung, deeply.
Just a minute ago he was happy with the one he love and in just a blink of an eye he now felt out of place. And it hurts him, so much.
He want jungkyu's time, yet jungkyu gives it to Haruto.
He wants jungkyu to smile because of him, yet jungkyu was smiling because of Haruto.
He wants jungkyu to laugh with him, yet jungkyu was laughing with haruto.
He wants to share food with jungkyu, yet jungkyu was sharing his food with Haruto.
He wants jungkyu to love him, but jungkyu loves Haruto
Its always on a certain name 'Haruto' and it pissed doyoung sometime.
Is it selfish if he wants the older to be all by himself? All he wants was jungkyu yet he can't have him. And it hurts him so much to the point that he doesn't want to live in that pain anymore.
He wanted to let go but he can't.
He wanted to be happy, but how.
Its hurt to much. He love him to much to the point that their is nothing left for himself.
Doyoung stood up and went to the bathroom. He locked up himself and for the nth time he cried himself out.
"it hurts" he mumbled between his sobs.
***
Awww I'm sorry doyoung-ie I love you so much😘😅
Enjoy reading lovely readers❤️
<< Dokyu >>
📖: Viel Kanemoto❣️
