Should′ve never let you go

Just how fast the night changes

These memories were the most beautiful, the past and how in love we were. It was crazy how quickly time had passed. Everything had changed in seconds and so it was again. Everything was different in seconds. I stood there for a while and just looked at the sea. My thoughts were empty, there was just nothing there. The ringing of my cell phone tore me out of my dreams, but I didn't want to talk. No matter who that was. I moved away from the window and went into the kitchen, I searched all the cabinets for glasses. „Okay, how can you own so damn many cabinets?" I cursed until I finally found the right door. So I filled the glass with some wine that I had found in Harry's refrigerator and sat down on the velvety blue armchair in the living room. I had the feeling that the whole situation would Break me. As if it were killing me. I don't even know why I felt so bad in these seconds, maybe it was good too. How could you forget such a long relationship and just feel nothing afterwards. Love is only for the brave. If you don't want to be hurt, don't start loving. A roaring pain spread in my head. The stress of the last few days was noticeable by headaches and the wine was not much help either. So I put the wine aside and picked up a small notebook. Here I wrote down all my thoughts, everything that was currently occupying and burdening me. I felt empty. Exhausted and just incredibly lonely. I was thinking about calling Harry. A quick look at the clock told me that it was not a good idea, because he was probably just about to rock the stage and have the time of his life. Should I write a message? No. I was too afraid that he would be worried in the end. I didn't want to be a burden for him, but a support. I had to distract myself somehow. From the headache, grief and all the other feelings. Work was now the right thing to sort photos and clear your head. A little shaky, I went to my suitcase and searched for my laptop and my memory cards. I had managed to spread chaos in a short time but that was incidental, I took the laptop and went upstairs, Harry had a small study here. It looked like no one had ever worked here before, everything was just incredibly clean and brand new. I was almost afraid to sit down at the table and maybe make it dirty. Never mind. I walked the steps towards the table and sat down. I opened the laptop and inserted my first memory card. A few pictures opened directly and I opened my editing program. They were not professional pictures. Rather private recordings, of Gemma, Anne, Harry and me. On days when everything seemed so perfect, you could feel how happy we were in these moments. It was incredible. I looked through these pictures and smiled. I almost had my old life back. That before Harry left and I loved it!