The Lair

I was soon to be free of him completely. The plans were set. Raoul was to take me immediately following the performance. We would fly through the night, away from Paris, to some unseen railway of the North and make our start there. The truth was, it didn't matter to me where we went or what we did, so long as it was away from here...this palatial prison with its nightbird who stalked my waking days and haunted my dreams. The nightmare was over, I felt clearer than I had in years. Raoul was the daylight and I was ready to embrace the light. We made our plans and shared our dreams as two children stealing moments in time. We were of one mind in all except for this: Raoul had wanted us to leave immediately. My instinct held me fixed, Erik would be expecting me to join him after the performance in the house on the lake. He would be waiting for me there. Any deviation might set off his calculating mind and put all of us in jeopardy. No, all must be as was. He would see me in rehearsals, in my dressing room, just as I would normally be. And in return I would give him one last night. One last performance. It would be my farewell to the Angel who inspired me even as I escaped the Devil who petrified me. I could at least give him that. And then, I told myself repeatedly, I owed him no more.

Scene 1:

Christine Daae...DIVA. It's not a term I associated with myself given the unfavorable connection to a certain La Carlotta, but here in this moment, in the final notes of Faust, it was the thought that came to mind. By my side my colleague Carlos Fonta, the world-renown baritone, eyed me with a mixture of awe and incredulity as notes such as I never sang burst forth from my being. It was more than singing, it was a force beyond sound. Not since the gala night had I experienced such intensity reverberating from within me. That night I felt as though my soul were leaving my body and I had fainted, completely overcome by the sensation. But now suddenly, I was in control. I raised my arms to entreat the angels to lift me to Heaven, but I felt I would carry myself on my own wings. I had conquered the "thing" that Erik had instilled in me when I sang. It was as though the technicality of his teaching had merged with something deeply forgotten in the recesses of my mind and what I uncovered was astounding. Finally, I was my own creation, freely tapping into my voice and expressing it without hesitation. For so long I'd been shackled, bound by an unseen chain of his unending observations, instructions, criticism and praise, as if he was throwing his own voice and making it come out of my mouth. But no more...I was liberated.

Carlos Fonta was spellbound. The audience was in the palm of my hand. The conductor waved his arms mechanically, completely absorbed as he watched me, mouth gaping. This was my moment. Emboldened by my own success I raised my eyes towards the rafters, arms outstretched. A deep breath and I prepared to issue forth the final phrases that would catapult me to undeniable stardom, a triumph beyond reckoning...when suddenly the entire auditorium was plunged into darkness.

A thousand gasps echoed in the immediate silence...the softest footsteps behind me...somewhere deep in the house a scream...a rough cloth crudely shoved in my face...a strange smell in my nostrils...and the rolling sensation of falling backwards...

Scene 2:

I opened my eyes very slowly and found I had trouble adjusting to the dimly lit room. Nausea threatened to overtake me and I clapped my hand to my brow...my head was spinning. Dazed, I tried to orient myself to my surroundings...a little table beside me, a candelabra, a cushioned chair on a raised platform by the mantle...I was lying on my bed in the Louis-Phillippe room in the house on the lake. Before me three black masks appeared to be swimming in my view. It was Erik. Utterly confused, I tried to focus on one of them. "What happened?" I gasped aloud. Was I dreaming? Had there been some technical malfunction onstage? Was I hurt?...in my disorientation I'd forgotten my plans to abandon him as though it were all a dream and that my being here was the most natural thing in the world.