Perfect Storm

Chapter 22

Ryan placed his finger under my chin and tipped my head up so that we were staring into each other's eyes. "You're beautiful Bree. You've always been beautiful. That has never changed."

Tears rolled down my cheeks again. I didn't feel beautiful. I couldn't help but think about the last woman Ryan had been with. Laken may have been empty on the inside, but on the outside, she was pure perfection. Hell, she was a fucking lingerie model. She was probably strutting the runway as we speak, exposing all of Victoria's Secret's.

"Stop it Bree. I know what you're thinking. She could never measure up to you. Not even close, so do not compare yourself to her. You really have no idea just how beautiful you are, but more than that, you have a beautiful heart, and you have a beautiful soul. She was full of ugliness on the inside and you are just so pure and giving. You always put others ahead of yourself. She's got absolutely nothing on you." He gently wiped the tears from my face.

I nodded, moved deeply by his words, and I took a deep breath before pressing my lips to his. I let the kiss linger for a moment then broke free, resting my forehead against his. "Let's go to bed." I whispered against his lips.

I had fully expected the bedroom to be pitch black. With the power outage, none of the outside lights were streaming through the windows, but I had forgotten about the small bedside lamp that was on, courtesy of the back up generator. It wasn't much light, but it was enough. Enough to almost make me forget his beautiful words he had just spoken to me. Almost.

Should I ask him to turn it off? He hadn't even seen the worst of my scars. But maybe I should leave it on. I couldn't hide my body forever from him.

Once again, he knew exactly what I was thinking. "Do you want me to turn it off?" When I hesitated in my response, he went on. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but like I told you Bree, I don't care about the scars, or maybe you should call them battle wounds because you are a warrior. You fought a battle and you won."

"You can leave it on." I said softly. He sat down on the bed next to me. We looked at each other, then the floor and now the ceiling, neither of which were very interesting.

Why did this feel so awkward all of a sudden? God it was like two kids getting ready to have sex for the first time. Ryan and I had had a very healthy, very satisfying sexual relationship. Okay, so it's been a year and a half. We're both nervous. Should I make the first move or wait for him?

Suddenly we both turned our heads at the same time and looked at each other, then we burst out laughing. Not expected and definitely not the most romantic thing, but it is what it is. I was also hyper aware of the fact that I was completely nude from the waist up and I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest in a futile attempt to hide my nakedness.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be this nervous." He said, once he stopped laughing.

"Don't be sorry. I'm feeling it too. It's been a while Ryan. We are not the same people we were back then. We've gone through some emotional and physical changes. We've grown and now we are getting back to getting to know each other again. It's not going to magically go back to the way it used to be."

Neither of us spoke for another moment. The storm outside appeared to be worsening. The rumble of thunder was loud enough to rattle the walls and windows, and was immediately followed by lightning illuminating the dimness of the room. It left me shaking and quivering in fear. Instinctively, I moved closer to him, wanting to cling to him, but still daunted by the awkwardness that hung in the air between us.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, his hands rubbing my back soothingly to try and calm my fears. "It's okay baby. I've got you." He whispered in my ear and hearing those words that I had been longing to hear flipped a switch inside of my brain.