End point

Chapter 7

Katherine 

I don't know how many days have passed by me laying on this bed and staring at the ceiling of this white room. Rachel and I made a habit of going out on the weekends. It's nothing like it was before obviously. No drinking, no crazy dancing. Just walking down the streets of Rome and sitting at a nice restaurant. She usually orders wine and a cheese plate as I enjoy a good portion of ravioli. I can't say that it's not reminding me of him. Of course it does, but it's still better than living in a place where you used to be together all the time.

My baby girl also has a new habit of waking me up at exactly eight in the morning. Like she always knew when I was waking up, but I only now started feeling her kicks.

I don't know what it was that I felt the night before but it was a strange feeling and it got me worried that something is wrong with the baby or I'm just feeling paranoid. My horrors confirm when I wake up the next day without her kicks. She hasn't moved since the day time yesterday.

"I think something is wrong." I say to my doctor. First thing that I did was to call her and then drive to the hospital.

"Let's look okay honey. Don't worry. It might be a normal thing." Sarah tries to calm me down as I lay down.

I know that something is wrong though. I'm never wrong with these things.

"The heartbeat is low." She says as we hear her heartbeat. She doesn't have to say more.

"So she's dying..." I look at her and although her expression is neutral, her eyes give it away.

"We'll do our best, Katherine." Yeah, sure... "It's better if you stay here at the hospital for a while so that we can track the baby's health."

"Katherine." She says. "You have to be strong, you have to believe that everything is going to be okay. You have to remember how much you want this child."

I do know how much I want her. She can't leave me. I already lost the love of my life, I can't lose her too.

...

"Mommy!" Adaline calls as I make crepes in the kitchen. Chris walks in holding her in his hands.

It's so strange to see the two people that I love the most like this. I always knew how much he wanted kids, but seeing him being so close and happy with Adaline just warms my heart. He puts her down and she rushes over to me to hug me.

"Good morning sweetheart." I say as I hug her back. "Did you brush your teeth?"

"Not yet."

"Go ahead and brush your teeth while I'm making breakfast... We have a new toothbrush in the bathroom." I tell Chris.

As I finish up cooking crepes, Chris and Adaline brush their teeth together and take a seat at the table.

"That looks amazing." Chris says as I place a plate stacked with crepes on the table.

I take one and put it on Adaline's plate. "Do you want some jam with that?" I ask her.

"Chocolate." She says. We usually don't eat chocolate so I don't know where she's getting this new habit.

"Are you eating chocolate in school?"

"Sophie brings chocolate." She says while tearing up the crepe into small pieces.

"How much chocolate do you eat?" I ask, trying not to get angry. Adaline shows with her fingers a size of chocolate that's not too big but still too much for a four year old. Especially when that four year old should not be eating any.

I stand up and pour myself coffee. As I think about how to chop off Sophie's mothers head, Chris walks over to me and pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Is everything okay?" He asks with a low voice so that Adaline won't hear.

"It's fine." I say and sit back at the table.

"What are your plans for today?" Chris asks, spreading some jam over his crepe.

"Adaline is going to the piano classes and I have some work to do." I say and drink from my coffee.

"You know how to play the piano?" Chris asks Adaline with amusement. She nods her head, smiling.

I have so many mixed up feelings right now. I can't deny that I'm in love with him. But I have so much regret over leaving him. That Adaline had to grow without him. The way she holds on to him and smiles at him breaks my heart and heals it at the same time. Can we get past this? Can he forgive me? Can I forgive him? Somehow every time when I look into those blue eyes, everything seems fine. No troubles, no worries, just us and our happy life. I wish we never had to suffer heartbreak and pain. But we do.