Never just a friend

Chapter 9

note: I realised I made a mistake in the last chapter as I said Ellis signed a dnr but I said Richard was resuscitating her so just pretend she didn't end up signing it.

Meredith had no idea how long she had been out or where she was but the warmth of someone's arms around her seemed so comforting. Her sleep had jolted her memory slightly so it took her a few seconds before the heavy feeling in her heart returned. Her mother was dead.

She carefully lifted herself up carefully not wanting to pinch the persons arm. Her head met a metal bar which made her realise she was in an on call room. She took a deep breath in letting the familiar sent of Addisons perfume flood her sense. She looked down to where the red-head was still fast asleep her hair sprawled out against the pillow. Meredith used her thumb to gently wipe away the tear that was resting in the corner of Addisons eye.

Addisons arm rested around the bottom of Merediths back as she slept whilst Meredith sat with her knees tucked under her chin. Her throat was sore from the crying and screaming but the thought of leaving the room to get water made her shiver. Her mind felt empty compared to earlier, she felt completely emotionless. It was a strange feeling because all she wanted to do was cry and scream over her mother but she simply couldn't.

Meredith couldn't come to an understanding of how her mother had seemed perfectly fine this morning and yet now she was suddenly gone. No medical school knowledge could help her. It was a question she would never have answered.

Meredith wondered if she fell asleep again when she woke up it would be like nothing happened. She felt foolish for thinking such a way. She also felt stupid for deluding herself that her mother wasn't going to die and miraculously she'd get better.

Meredith was so deep within her own mind she didn't even realise Addison had woken up beside her. Addisons warm hand came up to Merediths leg rubbing it. Meredith shivered at the feeling at first before she placed her hand over Addisons. Meredith had to stop a smile from appearing on her lips at Addisons sleepy face.

"How long have you been up?" Addison asked her voice groggy.

"Not long I didn't even realise that I'd fallen asleep" Meredith admitted, her head had been so fuzzy.

"Do you want me to grab some water? Your throat sounds sore" Addison was concerned by the way Meredith voice cracked.

"No it's fine for now" Meredith slowly laid back down beside Addison their heads resting on the same pillow.

"Bizzy said once your ready you can say your final goodbyes" Addison had turned on her side so she could face Meredith.

"Will you come with me? I don't think I can do it on my own" Meredith asked quietly.

"Of course" Addison shed a small smile.

"Can you just hold me for a bit? I feel like everything in my mind is going so fast and none of the tears want to spill ... I just need something to stable me" Meredith nervously told her scared Addison would decline.

"Rest your head on my arm and I'll do the rest" Addison patted the spot on her arm. Meredith shuffled closer to Addison placing her head on her arm. Addison pulled Meredith closer to her wrapping her free arm around her back. Addison rested her head on top of Meredith's head.

Meredith felt content with being in Addisons arms. They felt so safe that she was finally able to cry again. The stain on the silk blouse dampened again as the tears rolled off her cheeks. Addison held the blonde so close to her she could suffocate.

Meredith no longer felt like the 28year old she was she suddenly felt like a child again missing her mother. It hadn't been too long since Meredith had witnessed, the closest man she had to a dad try to revive her mother and all ready she was willing for it to be over. It was a never ending pain and unlike physical pain morphine wasn't going to help her.