Across the Pond

Chapter 61

Working at Wendy's has been great for several reasons. Firstly, it's served as a great distraction from my personal life. Secondly, and most importantly, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I'm a hard worker, and that, even though I make my fair share of mistakes, I go into every challenge with a smile on my face and the intent to do a great job.

With summer coming to an end, I'm going to miss this place. Maybe not the eye rolls and rude comments that Danny started to make after we broke up, but I'll definitely miss Wendy and some of our customers.

"Got a sec?" Wendy calls from the back as I wipe down the countertop.

"Sure!" I tell her before making my way into the kitchen. Wendy is sifting through her purse that hangs on the coat rack when I enter. "What's up?"

She makes her way over to me with an envelope in her grip. "It's not much, but Ruby told me that you love Zara," she says as she hands me the item. "It's just my way of saying thank you for being so awesome this summer. And my way of saying that the job is here for you next year should you be looking for one."

I look down at the gift in appreciation. "Wendy, I can't thank you enough. Not only for this, but for taking me under your wing. I've seriously learned so much."

"I love to hear that," she smiles. "Means that I'm doing my job right."

I smile back at her and then she says, "Now get out of here. Ruby told me that she's making her famous spaghetti and meatballs tonight, and I wouldn't want you to be late."

"Why don't you join us?"

"Aw, that's sweet of you. But I already made plans. My friend is setting me up with her divorced friend," she admits, letting out a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling. "God help me."

I start to laugh. "I'm sure that you'll have a good time."

"I hope so. But what if he doesn't like me?"

"Impossible," I say. "And if he doesn't...well, then, he's an idiot."

Wendy points her finger at me and grins. "Yup, I knew I liked you."

***

"How's the spaghetti?" Grandma Ruby asks as she saunters over to the table with a pitcher of water in her hand.

"Delicious," mom and I say, laughing that we both said the same thing at the same time.

"I can't wait to dig in," Grandma Ruby remarks, taking a seat in between me and mom.

"So, honey, I was thinking...," mom looks at me and begins.

"Oh, boy," I interrupt.

"...I was in Grandma Ruby's closet the other day, and she has this long, periwinkle dress that could be perfect for the Summer Dance. It's not super fancy, but it is beautiful. Maybe we can take it to the tailors and have them spruce it up a bit."

"It would look beautiful on you," Grandma Ruby adds.

I smirk at the both of them, grateful for their thoughtfulness, but I no longer have a date. 

"That's so sweet of you," I say to Grandma Ruby before turning to mom. "The both of you. But I really have no interest in going anymore."

Mom looks at me, perplexed. "I thought you wanted to, and now that you have a dress, you can!"

"I don't have a date," I admit, and mom and Grandma Ruby look at each other like they're embarrassed for even bringing the topic up.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, don't be. You're just trying to help, and I love you for it. But I promise. I'm fine with not going."

"Don't hate me for asking," mom says, and you can tell that she's treading lightly by the faintness in her tone, "but what's been going on between you and Nico?"

What's going on is that it's been 2 weeks since we last spoke. There were a few instances where I thought that we might run into each other, but we didn't, and I was thankful for that. I don't think I would've been able to handle seeing his face.

"Nothing," I tell her, helping myself to another heap of pasta. I circle my fork around the noodles, lifting a hefty bite to my mouth. I keep my head down, but I know that mom's looking at me with frustration. She always used to hate when Nico and I would fight – on the rare occasion that it did happen. The only difference being that our fights back then were harmless, lasted at most an hour, and usually consisted of me getting mad at Nico when him and Brooks would gang up on me. Where Nico and I currently stand is a totally different situation. Rightfully so, I guess, given the circumstances that have transpired between us over the last few weeks.

"You know I hate it when you two fight, right?" mom says, voicing aloud the thought I'm already aware of.

"I know, mom, I know. You're not the only one who hates it. But Nico and I...we have some growing up to do. And how can I grow up when he's so closely tied to my childhood?"

"That's the beauty of it, sweetheart," she smiles. "You grow up together. Just because Nico's a big part of your past, doesn't mean he has to stay there. He can be a part of your present. Maybe even your future."

I look at her for a few seconds before glancing back down. "It's more complicated than that. Nico and I aren't what we used to be. There's more standing in between us now."

Mom thinks about what I'm saying and then asks, "do you regret taking it to that next level with him?"

"Like romantically?" I ask, and she nods. "No. Not at all." I see Grandma Ruby smile from the corner of my eye. She always knew how much I loved Nico, and in turn, she loved him for me. "Doesn't mean that me not regretting it doesn't make the heartbreak hurt any less."

Mom reaches for my hand, and Grandma Ruby reaches for the other. "I know, sweetheart. Unfortunately, we don't get to control who we love. Our heart gets that privilege. You've got to just trust that your heart's choosing that person for a reason."

"I do, though. I don't doubt Nico's place in my life."

"Yeah," she smirks at me. "I didn't think so."

Sometimes, mom's questions unintentionally make me see things differently. Like right now. Admitting that I don't doubt Nico's place in my life. I said that because it's the truth. I don't. I've said it from day one - Nico has a special place in my world that he and only he can occupy. The thought of losing that breaks me. Actually tears me up inside. Sometimes, I'm so overwhelmed by my deeper emotions for him, that I forget about that. I forget about the fact that I want Nico in my life, regardless of whether or not we're together.