NICO
Nico, Age 9 / Bella, Age 8
She forgot me. Again. It's the second time this week.
I'm sitting on the edge of the sidewalk with my backpack around my shoulders, watching the cars go by, convincing myself that any second now, my mom will pull up in her Bentley and apologize for being late. But I'm already familiar with this situation and know that I'm just feeding myself false hope. Because she forgot me. Because she always forgets me.
On Monday, mom blamed forgetting to pick me up from camp on an "important lunch meeting" at Meadows Country Club. Last week, her excuse was because she was in Massachusetts at some sort of spa retreat. I almost wish she were just honest with me and admit that I'm not the priority that I should be in her life.
Tired of waiting - tired of hoping - I reach for my cell phone that's in the side pocket of my backpack and make a call that I really don't want to have to make.
"Nico, sweetheart, everything okay?" Bella's mom Carrie answers on the second ring. Her question is exactly why I didn't want to dial her. I hate how concerned she sounds. I didn't mean to cause her any type of worry.
"Yeah, yeah," I say, trying to downplay my tone, even though I hear my voice shaking. "Um, Carrie...I hate to do this to you, and it's okay if you can't...but...uh...any chance you can pick me up from camp?"
"Ms. Cooper, Dr. Peterson is ready to see you now. You can follow me," I hear some lady say in the background.
There's a slight pause and then, "Of course, Nico, dear. I'll be right there," she tells me, clearly not knowing that I hear she's at a doctor's appointment.
What she has going on is more important, so I digress. "Oh. No. It's okay, Carrie. I didn't mean to bother you."
"You're never bothering me, Nico, sweetheart," she tells me otherwise. "I'm on my way."
She must've thought that she ended the call, but she didn't because I hear her muffle to the lady:
"Can I please reschedule my appointment?"
It takes Carrie less than 15 minutes to get to me, and when she pulls up, she immediately puts the car in park and comes over to where I'm sitting. I wish I stood up before she had the chance to exit the car, but I'm hurting so badly emotionally that I can't really move physically.
She places a hand over my shoulder and looks at me with sympathy. It's not pity; it's comfort. "I'm so sorry, Nico," she says because she knows why I'm sad. She knows that my mom didn't show up.
"It's okay," I lie, wiping away at my eye before the tear can fall down my cheek. "Let's just go."
We get into the car, and I open the vent so that I can feel the cool air on my skin. It gets so hot in Wilmington in the summer.
"Did you try calling her?" Carries softly asks. She knows that I know who she's referring to.
I feel her eyes on me so I just nod my head and keep my head down, ashamed that I'm feeling these emotions even though I know that I'm entitled to feel them. I hate putting this responsibility onto Carrie. I hate that she left her doctor's appointment to take care of me. It's not her job. I'm not her job.
"You hungry? Want to stop for a bite to eat?" she asks.
"No, thanks," I tell her and she lends me an apprehensive smile. I know that she's trying hard to be strong for me.
"Why don't you come over? Bella's home. She's making chocolate chip cookies with Grandma Ruby."
As tempted as I am to say yes, to see Bella, I'm not in the best of moods right now. I know Bella - she'd make my problem hers. And while I appreciate her care, I also don't want to be a burden to her. I want her to know that she never has to carry the weight of my problems on her shoulders. Not with me. Never with me.
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