Across the Pond

Chapter 64

One of the reasons why I love summertime is because it's 8 o'clock at night and the sun's still out.

I'm almost at the end of the dock, but Nico's already sitting. His legs dangle over the edge as his palms lay behind his back. He doesn't see me approaching because he's facing the water, but I know that he hears me when he turns his neck slightly.

"Hi," he says softly, immediately getting up once I meet his stance.

"Hi," I say back in the same soft tone.

"Thanks for coming."

He combs his fingers through his hair, which tells me that he's nervous. It's nice to know that we're on the same page.

"Thank you for the gift," I say, playing with the necklace, which causes him to look at it.

"You're wearing it?" he remarks as a question, but there's excitement to his tone.

"It's beautiful."

"I've been meaning to give it you," he chuckles.

"Have you?" I chuckle back and tease. But then we both stop laughing.

"Yeah," he looks at me and whispers seriously. He gestures to the floor. "Wanna sit?"

We both take a seat on the wood and look out at the pond that separates our houses. 

"There's a lot that I want to say to you, but I don't even know where to begin," he shakes his head and says.

"How about at the beginning?"

He grabs onto his chin, thinking about my question. "Okay," he finally says, shifting his body to face me. "I'll start from the beginning. The first day that I met you, I was mesmerized. There's no other word for it. It's as simple as that. You emitted this energy that immediately consumed me. After we hung out for the first time, I knew that I didn't want to spend any day after that without you. But I was so young, I didn't know what that meant. 9 years old, there's no way it could be love. Right? So I didn't really question my feelings, I kind of just left them alone. I mentioned this to you in my letter, but the next year at camp, my feelings became harder to ignore. I mean, you were the only thing that I thought of. Literally, every thought that I had was tied to you. If I was eating breakfast, I was wondering what your grandma cooked you that morning. If I was swimming, I was wondering whose pool you were using since I wasn't home. And from that point on, that was it. It was endgame. But I wasn't ready to let it be. Besides the shit going on with my family, I wasn't ready to be tied down to one person - no matter how strongly I felt. I still needed my independence. I still needed to live my life without feeling like someone else was depending on me. I was making mistakes, fucking up, and I wasn't ready to have you rely on me when I couldn't even count on myself. So, for the rest of those summers until this one, I did just that. I lived my life without allowing my feelings for you to intervene. I kept the two separate because I knew that someday, somehow, I was going to find my way to you in the way that I wanted - in a way that we never were. Which I guess brings us to the here and now. Me, looking at you, knowing in my heart that it's always been you. It will always be you. All the outside noise - my parents, the expectations - is just that. Outside noise. And I'm so tired of it getting in the way of what I want for myself." He looks around the pond before telling me something that completely catches me off-guard. "I'm going to Columbia in the fall. Yeah," he confirms when I look at him in shock. "I spoke to my dad last night. Told him that I'd love to be involved in the family business...4 years from now, when I'm done with college."

"Oh my gosh, Nico. What did he say? How did he take it?"

"Like I knew he would. He screamed, told me how much of a disappointment I am, and then screamed some more."

"I'm so sorry," I say, almost reaching for his hand, but refrain.

"Don't be. This is what I want."

I smile. "Then I want it for you."

"What about everything else that I'm telling you? Do you want it? Do you want me the way that I want you?"

I take him in - his emerald eyes, his diamond face shape, that damn tattoo that I still can't believe he got - and that's all it takes for me to tell him my side. The truth.

"I've wanted you since the day that I met you."

My words get him to smile immediately.

"But," I say, and his smile disappears, "I can't go through anymore heartbreak with you, Nico. I don't think that my body can handle it."

"Bella, I won't make you go through that again," he holds onto my hands and states. "Breaking your heart broke mine, trust me. I just ask that you be patient with me. I'm not good at this stuff."

"This stuff?" I laugh.

"Yes," he laughs back. "This stuff."

"I don't know what that means," I continue to laugh.

"Dating. I'm a shit boyfriend...as you can tell by my last relationship."

"You weren't a shit boyfriend!" I tell him, and then he widens his eyes to look at me like 'c'mon'. "Okay, fine, you could've been better."

"See...," he says, and I turn to look at the water, but Nico's still looking at me. "You can trust me, though, BC. I'll never let you down."

I turn back to face him. "Really?" I gulp, and he slowly nods, his eyes begging me to believe him. "How do I know that?"

"Because I love you in a way that will never stop. Like a...?" he pauses, trying to find the right word.

"...Like a soulmate?" I ask him.

He smiles at me, moving his face in closer. "Not like a soulmate, BC. You are my soulmate."