His Salvation [Eddie Munson]

Chapter Twelve

WARNING: This chapter contains mature content.

Trigger Warnings that were not added to the author's note:
Suicidal thoughts and loss of parents.

Eddie and I haven't made anything official. We are friends, but act like we are dating. I would say friends with benefits, but friends with benefits don't wake up in the morning cuddling.

It's been two weeks with Eddie Munson. Two weeks of listening to music, car rides, overnight stays, movies, dinners, late-night talks, and fucking. It's been my own personal heaven. I can't get enough of him and he can't keep his hands off of me. It's almost perfect.

Perfect.

His words stick with me. "How are you so perfect?"

I went months crying and then I met Eddie. He was the only reason I was not thinking of what it would be like to meet my parents on the other side.

Now I only cry when I am alone. Eddie has no idea. I almost want to laugh at how well I can fool others into thinking I am okay. But then I want to puke.

I am fooling myself the most. I have been ever since I met Eddie. I can't forget what happened with my parents. I can never forget it. I can't make this new life for myself and expect to be okay. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it. And for fucks sake, I don't deserve Eddie.

So why am I still fooling myself? Here I am, standing in front of Eddie and playing along with my fantasy life as if I can actually make it a reality without drowning in my grief and shame.

I shove the thoughts in the back of my mind like I have been for all these weeks and focus on Eddie. I have to. I can see the light in this deep dark hole within my soul and I'm not ready to look away.

"This is it." He says motioning around the empty room. He is sitting on his hellfire throne looking around the room. His eyes are soft and I can tell he's going through all the memories he's made in this room where he leads the Dungeons & Dragons club.