The Day Earth Died

22. Always a Mentor, Never a Mentor

"Malory Keïta's one-hundred thirty-third report on Tuesday June 28 3098 at 9:08 PM. I'm going to visit Noel tomorrow. I wanted to wait for the governors to get off my back so I wouldn't risk pulling her into my mess but since I spoke with them, I've been watched by senior officers all the time. There's always someone staring at me from afar, though it's never the same person. I'm not sure why they don't just use the cameras to watch me. It seems overkill. But as Haile reckoned, it doesn't go any further than that. I'll just hide in the bathroom tonight, in the camera's blind spot and go early in the morning, when night shift officers switch with day shift ones. I haven't seen the governors since I was at their Common Room last march. I can't help but think that if they offered someone like me a partnership, they must have allies hidden everywhere. Even Guillebault is with them. I mean, he let Major try to harm an officer; even worse, one of his old officers. I'll remember to be careful. I can't really trust anyone anymore. That's it. End of the report."

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I knocked on the door of Noel's office. She was quick to let me in. I double-checked behind me to make sure I wasn't followed.

"What bring you here so early?" she asked, engulfed in a light coral night robe.

She wasn't wearing her glasses and her salt and pepper hair was slicked back into a ponytail. I leaned on her light table.

"I met the governors."

"You did?" A grin grew on her lips.

"They wanted me to be their ally but I said no."

The face she made told me she disagreed; eyebrows furrowed, upper lip slightly curled up, eyes narrowed.

"It could've been helpful to—" I cut her off.

"I was wondering. The governors, did you want me to kill them?" For the first time, I allowed myself to ask.

I always thought it was an obvious thing but after seeing them up close, they don't seem so vile. Yin and Major, sure. But not all of them. Within themselves, a hierarchy still exists. I needed to make sure I knew what Noel wanted, even if it meant sharing some of my reports that went over my observations. She seemed taken aback by my question.

"If I want... Malory, what?" With a hand holding her forehead, Noel lowered herself into a seat at the light table, across from me.

"You wanted them dead, no? Because you want to live better without them."

Her face contorted with disgust? shock? bewilderment? disappointment? I couldn't tell.

"Well, yes. But isn't that what you want too? Revenge for Elizabeth?"

"No. I want to die like her," I admitted.

"Then, all along, why did you...?"

"Because I owe Mar. You were his wife, so I owe you."

"That's sick, Malory," Noel spat with little to no reticence.

"I don't think so."

"This isn't right. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was convinced I knew you enough; I-I was certain you'd be so enraged that you'd want them dead. Don't you?" She spoke a lot and very quickly; it was hard to follow her.

"I guess. But the best they could've done is dying with everyone else. It's not like it could've been prevented," I finally let out the thought that lingered at the back of my mind for so long.

It would have happened anyway. Mum was meant to die, and so was I. I was the one to flee my fate, not mum. It was the best death for her. A death that isn't lonely, nor painful.