your favorite martian oneshots

unlovable - poly yfm

(benatar listens to the smiths sorry dont make the rules. this title is unlovable by the smiths :D its not rlly related too much to the song though !! sorry i keep torturing benatar, i project sm on him. also, axel uses they/he in this fanfic)

angst with a happy ending.
trigger warning - suicide attempt, vomiting, bad overdose side effects, self hatred
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   ever since benatar was a young boy, he's been convinced that he's completely unloveable.
although, now he's in a relationship with the loves of his life.
regardless, he continues the ritual of picking himself apart in the mirror each day, proving to himself that he couldn't be truly loved by his partners. who could even love such a hideous man?
—
   living is almost completely useless for him. the only things keeping him to get out of bed in the morning are his partners.
axel isn't much of a charmer, rather they're more brainless in benatar's eyes. regardless, they're hilarious, and incredibly gorgeous. they always seem to know how to make benatar happier in any situation.
puff puff is such a sweet boyfriend. he always tries to be extra sweet to the three of them, and benatar always notices all of the small little gifts he secretly gives to them. he always feels guilt when he sees the gifts, feeling they're only out of pity towards him.
deejay is absolutely breathtaking. he's so charming, so talented, and so so funny. benatar especially enjoys his mornings with him, with the sweet little talks they have. deejay is always discreetly more affectionate, always holding his boyfriends' hands under the tables or having his arms around them while on the couch. benatar could never imagine that he would love the blond brit as much as he loves him.
—
benatar couldn't do this anymore. he couldn't live this way, knowing that nobody could possibly truly love him. he knew exactly what he was going to do.
he was going to pick a date, and he would spend that whole day with his boyfriends, and show them how much he loves them.
then, that night, he would end it all. a time where they couldn't disturb him.
it had to work, he would absolutely not go to a hospital. he was terrified of them. he would make sure he died this night. he knew for sure it wouldn't be a big deal regardless, how could his partners even care? they don't love him.
—
he had finally decided on a date. june 28th, two days from then.
on that day, he had reserved at two separate restaurants for breakfast and dinner. he had made his partners aware afterwards, so they didn't make plans. the three seemed to be okay with it, not necessarily questioning the random gesture of love.
—
benatar finished writing his suicide note the day before. in it, he explained exactly why he was doing this and explicitly stated how much he loves his partners.
he prepared his meds afterwards, planning to overdose on his sleeping pills. hopefully, his boyfriends would fail to notice the lack of his prescription in the medicine cabinet.
he hid both of those in his bed.
—
the day of, all four of them woke at around eight thirty in the morning. benatar drove the bus to the restaurant, and smiled at the three as they all exited.
he was hoping they would enjoy this.
thankfully, they loved and cherished this moment.
they had all gotten the same order, a ham and cheese omlette with bacon and toast. he had found this small thing absolutely adorable.
the breakfast had gone fantastic.
—
that evening, around seven twenty-five, they arrived at dinner. benatar made sure to order his favorite food, because if this attempt succeeded this would be his final meal of his lifetime.
they all chatted together, benatar hoping they wouldn't notice anything off about him.
deejay noticed his nervousness at first, unfortunately, and squeezed his hand gently as a reassurement.
otherwise, dinner went fine.
—
it was eleven fourty-five at night. benatar was in the bathroom, body shaking as he grabbed his tall water bottle. with his other hand, he grabbed his opened prescription bottle.
two by two, he popped pills into his mouth and flushed them with water.
eventually, he closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.
—
"hello? who's in the bathroom?" puff's voice boomed from outside the door as he banged. benatar groaned, making himself aware of his surroundings. he was against the bath, and his back hurt. he felt nauseous.
"hhuh.. i'm in here." benatar groaned out.
puff's voice immediately changed to concern.
"benatar? are you okay? its ten in the morning, we've been trying to get in for fifteen minutes."
benatar groaned, and picked himself up to open the bathroom door.
"i'm sorry, i must've fainted or something." he nodded, but then noticed puff's gaze turn to the counter.
"benatar, why's your pill bottle empty?" he asked, his gaze returning to the blond.
"um." he panicked, then quickly pushed past puff, running to hide in his bunk.
—
axel heard commotion and peeked their head out of their bunk. they saw puff, staring at the open bathroom with tears slowly running down his face.
"puff?" his head turned to axel, panic written throughout his features.
"axel, come here." his voice was shakey and he sounded completely terrified, but his urgency was quickly noticed and they swiftly got out of their bunk and walked to puff puff.
"it's benatar, his pill bottle is empty. i think he-" he was quickly cut off by a sob. they wrapped their arms around his body, trying his best to comfort him.
—
meanwhile, deejay walked in from the kitchen, having heard everything. he made his way to benatar's bunk, seeing the boy shaking. he looked like he was going to vomit. benatar gave him one look, then ran to the nearest trash can to empty his stomach. deejay was so, so worried. he followed benatar, holding his hair back as everything he previously ate came up.
when he finished, he turned and latched onto deejay, sobs escaping him.
deejay had some some sense of awareness of what was happening right now. benatar most likely overdosed the night before, and everybody was out of it at the moment.
—
after a while, benatar had calmed down, and the four met in the bunk area to figure out what happened.
"benatar, did you overdose?" deejay was straightforward about it, and benatar gently slapped his hands against his thighs repeatedly.
"uhh, yeah. i'm so unloveable, and i know you all dont love me. i couldn't live like this anymore." puff looked up at him with a heavily concerned look in his eyes.
"ben, what do you mean? we love you so much, i promise. you're the best thing to happen to us, we wouldn't trade you for anything." benatar looked up all of a sudden, and leaped to puffs arms. he sobbed into him, the other two joining in on the love.
"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry." benatar repeated over and over. his partners reassured him that it was perfectly okay, and that they really did love him.

for the first time in benatar's life, he finally felt like he's loveable.
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meows :D this is probably my favorite fic i've written !! i hope u guys like this like i do, this took a lot of effort !! also, thank you for all the support on these oneshots !! i didnt expect it at all, honestly and i really appreciate it !! goodbye all :]