Wallflower [H.S.]

chapter five

HARRY

Staying awake for longer than twenty-four hours was not something that was foreign to me, but that didn't make the restless side effects any easier. Instead of waking up this morning on the futon in Lenny's garage, I walked home at six in the morning after roaming the town alone with my walkman. Several thoughts forced my eyes to stay open for this long.

What would we do with the prize money?

Would we get the record deal?

Would we go on tour?

Will we even win?

I even pondered what kind of songs I would write. There is a notebook that's bent and faded due to beer being spilled on it too many times under the mattress of the futon in Lenny's garage filled with songs I've written in the past years. I imagined finally being able to rip the pages out and show them to record producers and having the band come up with a melody. I imagined opening for one of the biggest rock bands in the world and singing front and center for a sold-out crowd. Although it was an opportunity one may never even have, it made me want to throw up and back out. I even questioned if I were good enough.

Getting my hopes up and being let down is also something that is not foreign to me. When my family would let me down, it was just another thing I had to deal with. Same with old friends and all of the record producers who would mail my tapes back to me with 'good luck' written on a piece of paper. The trick to constant disappointment is to expect it. If you are always prepared and expecting the worst then when the best happens, it is even greater. I even wrote a song about that.

Once I finally walked upstairs to Lenny's bedroom, I couldn't help but laugh at his awkward position on the bed. He still had his shirt and jeans on from the night before and didn't even bother to slip off his shoes.

"Lenny. Lenny, mate. Wake up." I spoke, aggressively shaking his body.

His body jolted up finally, his eyes pressed shut as if being awake was painful. "What, man? Jesus." He huffs, running a hand through his light brown hair that desperately needed a good wash.

I laugh at him again. But, who am I to judge? I just walked in the door. "The paper will be delivered any minute." I told him.

Lenny's eyes finally open wide. "Oh, shit." He mutters, letting out a long sigh followed by a groan as he tries to stand up. "Fuck, yeah. Let's go downstairs."

His parents have been out of town for about a month now. They stay frequently at their oceanfront beach house in Oceanside, California, which was a six-hour drive if you took Route 66. I was envious of Lenny and his family, but when his father sat me down and told me that I always had a home here, I realized it was my family too.

I grabbed a banana off the kitchen counter that desperately needed to be eaten before it was too brown to even make banana bread with. We walked through the house and to the garage that I called home. I knew that Drew was already on the way because he has had a mental countdown for this moment before we even officially signed up to participate. I also knew that he would pick Ace up on the way. As much as they argued, Drew was Ace's built-in babysitter and Ace made Drew less uptight. They were very codependent.