How to Touch Grass. (Multiple fandoms)

Chapter 1 // The Dream.

Somewhere in a mystical land known as Pennsylvania, a young boy was supposed to be be sleeping. Instead, he was on his Nintendo 3Ds playing Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3Ds remake.

His name is Cesar.

His fingers pressed gently over the buttons as he made young link roll into a wall over and over again. Just as he was about to actually start doing something productive in the game, Cesar heard footsteps slowly approaching his door.

The footsteps sounded rather light and graceful, yet barbaric.
'It's my mother!' Cesar thought as his heart rate sped up. He knew he could say goodbye to his 3Ds if she caught him. So, he did what any other reasonable fourteen year old would do in that situation, and shoved it under his pillow.

He waited...
The footsteps stopped..

Cesar was cautious. His mom wouldn't come up to his door and not go in.

After what seemed to be an hour of silent waiting, he grabbed his Ds again. He made young link go over to Woodfall Temple just to beat that dumb man, when his mom barged in the room.

"Aha! I knew you had an electronic up here!" His mother boomed from the doorframe of his room. Sighing in defeat, Cesar surrendered his only form of entertainment and laid his head back down. His mother wished him goodnight again before exiting the room.

Cesar closed his eyes, and let wonderful sleep take him away.

...
"Cesarrrr~"

...
"Cesarrrr~"

"Huh?" Cesar sat up in a black void. He was freaked out, because he didn't really expect to be in a void. And there was a creepy ass voice calling to him.
"Who's there?!"

"Be not afraid, Cesar. It is only I."

"Who is 'I'?"

"Gabriel, the Archangel. I have come with news for you!" A gorgeous man with longer blonde hair and large wings descended from the void in a ring of light. The man himself seemed to radiate light and purity. He smelled like virginity and feathers.

"Uhm.. okay." Cesar admired the angel in front of him. The young man had intrusive thoughts, but quickly drop kicked them into a C4 explosive.

"There has been a horrible outbreak in the fandoms!" Gabriel's wings moved slightly as he spoke. Cesar imagined the back problems the poor man probably has.
"Fangirls have captured many beloved characters, such as Sans and The Onceler, and are forcing them to be sexy! The great gods above have chosen you to save them!"

Cesar stared blankly at the Archangel hovering in front of him. The gods want him? A fourteen year old boy?
"They want me? Why?"

"I have no idea, to be honest with you. I'm just the messenger." At least he was honest.
"If you agree to travel to different fandoms and fight off the fangirls, then I shall accompany you on your quest."

"What is your answer, Cesar?"

...
"Hell yea!"
"Language."

And so begins the epic tale of Cesar and Gabriel going into different fandoms, and beating up fangirls..

///
This is a joke. I'm joking. You've been fooled. Anyways, if want, you can put fandoms you want me to cover in the comment section. I'm only doing fandoms I know of, or I've been in. Foreign waters and fanfiction don't mix well for me. Anyways, I'm tired as shit. -Rome.