Balotelli-Bale Series Book#1: HELENA'S CONTRACT

Chapter 10: Void

Helena's POV
"No no no!" I tried to hold on to him but he slipped away quickly. He rolled over on the bed with a mean laugh in his voice. Everyday he does this. He wanders to my side of the bed, he teases me and then when I'm dripping with need he leaves me. "You can't keep doing this! It's unfair!"

"But it's super fun." He smiled brilliantly. That smile can thaw all the ice in the North pole.

The more time we spend together the more I'm falling for him. He is actually getting me to reconsider things. That silent debate in my head is becoming a daily thought. Would it hurt to just get to know the man? Would it kill me to be close to him? Is a relationship without a contract possible? Castle was right. He's not Franco. Alexander Christos is a good man. He's not using me for his own selfish ends. Why would he need to? He has his own money, much more than my own. I let out a silent sigh. I also turned away so that I can stop my heart from falling in love with him. My eyes already have and they shamelessly gawk at him.

It's been raining for the past three days. If it's not heavy rain but it's drizzling through the day. We are stuck inside the house. He doesn't mind. I don't either. I watched the rain pelting against the windows. The beautiful view of the ocean slowly became blurred. I can get used to living like this. All I do is talk to him all day. Sometimes we leave the house and we go out to eat, to movies, to shop. He's a generous man. He won't allow me to spend a dime of my money. He is spoiling me with gifts. Anything i set my eyes on he buys. It feels strange to have someone providing for me.

When it comes to intimacy he is not as generous. He holds back.  Kisses is all I get. Just kisses. When he's adventurous it's my neck but he never goes past my collar bone. Everything below my collar bone aches for him. I am in need of thorough satisfaction but the Navy man is too disciplined to break his own rules. That is something I love about him. He is disciplined. Often, I get lost in my mind thinking of what we will make. Will it be a girl? If so will she be tough or sweet like her father? Will it be a boy? Will he be like me or him? My hand found it's way to my flat stomach. I rubbed it gently. I want to get pregnant. I really want to get pregnant. I know I will be ready for it in a few days. If I miss that window I'll have to wait a little longer. Maybe another month here won't be so bad.

"Don't dream without me." He whispered once he lay beside me. He paced his hand on top of mine. He pressed down on my stomach. "It feels empty."

I couldn't help the soft laughter. "Because you're being selfish."

He propped himself up on his elbow. He has serious eyes. He must speak volumes in silence. "I was talking about food. But since we are on the topic, I told you when it happens, I want it to be more than sexual attraction." He whispered.

"What is more Alexander?"

"I want it to be affection." He answered. "Not for my body but  the person I am."

I was afraid he will want more. "Do you have affection for me?" He gave me a brief smile. He lay flat on his back looking at the ceiling. I rested my chin on his bare chest looking into the pale blues. "Alexander, answer me."

"Deep affection." He answered.

My heart stirred silently with emotion. He loves me. I rolled off the bed choosing to walk away before I say something sappy and stupid. I opened the sliding glass doors to step out into the covered balcony facing the ocean. A cold breeze blew by causing me to shiver.

Love.

Why the hell would he love me? I don't want him to love me because it will be harder to end things. We just have eighteen days left to be here in this nest of emotions yet he is making it difficult and murky with emotion.