Soulmates

27

I never thought my eyes would be from my dad. I don't know why, but I didn't. I sure as hell didn't suspect he was brunette, either. That he has stubble and greasy hair.
"Why are you laughing?" I couldn't bring myself to be louder than a whisper now.
He wiped his eyes that had fresh tears in them while slowing his laughing down.
"It's just- it's exactly what your mother's doing. Exactly what Dorothy's doing. She told me to stay away from you today, actually. She showed up and told me 'Stay the hell away from me and my family. Don't you dare speak to my children.' It was amusing. She tried so hard and had, has, no clue you're here." He mimicked her voice...
"What do you mean it's exactly what she's doing?"
"Well, she loves me. She can't deny it. She'll always love me, it's how it works. She might not say, but that's what it is. Whether that be a friendship love or a significant other love, she'll never not love me; and I her. In her soul's eyes, I could do nothing wrong. I could kill thousands of people for no reason more than boredom and it wouldn't change anything.
"But her mind, that's what's interrupting. She's aware of how I act, how I can be unpredictable and dangerous. That's why she made me leave all those years ago. Her soul might always love me, but her mind can't take having me there and harming her children. And her soul is why she hasn't moved on.
"Has Dorothy ever mentioned another man in a light that isn't as a friend and hasn't been just that for a while? Ever suggested she was leaving the house with a man for anything even slightly romantic? Has she mentioned times when a man who saw his soulmate as a friend or lost his soulmate said they liked her? Asked her on a date? Has she ever said she said yes and went? Has she said yes and not gone? That she 'likes a guy and tried going on a date but it won't work out'?"
No no yes yes no yes yes.
"That's because, no matter how much she hates to admit it, she can't move on from me. I'm constantly in her thoughts. No matter how much she might like someone as a romantic partner, she'll always like me more. Any time she's doing something with them, she'll see them as me and can't do it. I know because it's the same for me."
"Stop..."
"No matter how much she doesn't want to admit it, she still wants to be with me. No touch is like your soulmate's. No touch in the world can compare.
"She sees it as me or no one, and she knows she can't pick me. No matter how much I abuse her, how much I have in the past, it'll always be me or no one. Rather selfless, if you ask me. I don't think I could do it. Reject my soulmate for my kids."
He reminded me of moriarty in Sherlock on how he speaks, behaves.
I can feel myself shutting down. Not going to sleep or being unconscious, but everything coming in and nothing going out. Not responding, verbally or physically.
"Of course, though, I am the one who abused the soulmate and the kids, so who am I to talk. But know, Callie. If you do take after me, if you have anger issues, you will. You'll take it out on your soulmate, scream at her over nothing sometimes. You might want to throw a chair at a wall, might want to hurt her if it means you have less anger.
"But maybe you'll be more successful than I was." He looked... Thoughtful. "Maybe your soulmate will convince you to take anger management or some shit. Maybe you'll even work it out together.
"And the part of me that feels things as your father hopes you do. I hope you and your soulmate fare better than me and mine did.
"But as much as Scarlett is already showing she does at 14, I don't doubt those intrusive thoughts and feelings are always going to be there. Like me, a part of you will always enjoy scaring people into submission. Will always enjoy hurting people."
And it was like that suddenly brought the fire to life. Maybe it was the part of me he was talking about, but I couldn't keep myself from not doing something, not reacting.
"You're going to hell."
"I'll see you there, Callie." I froze up again. I said that for his abuse, why did he say that? "Oh, for being soulmates with Harper, you know. Because you get sent to hell for that, apparently." He looked very bored at that. He actually yawned.
"I swear to God, to hell, to whatever else is listening, I am going to kill you. Not today, not anytime soon, but I will. And it is going to be stretched out as long as possible." If looks could kill then I would kill him today with it.
I was so mad, so angry at him for mentioning Harper. For saying her name. Oliver's name. He doesn't have the right to even mention her, speak of her.
Alex must've known I was ready to attack him because then she came back up to me, said, "I found what specific candy I was looking for, but it's not worth the price," and dragged me away as best she could with my crutches.
***
"I hate him. I fucking hate him." I stopped where we were, almost a block away, and sat down on the curb. I grabbed my phone and turned it on and opened Skype. I turned on my camera, not waiting for it to load before putting it on the ground in front of me and putting my head in my hands. Alex said she hung up with Christopher as we walked out of the store, so it was just Alex, Harper, and I.
"What even was half the shit he said? It made sense but it didn't. I hated it and hate him."
"I wish I knew. I was just out of earshot so I could talk to Chris about what I could see. I couldn't hear what he was saying."
Harper wasn't saying anything. I uncovered ny face and looked at her. It said her mic wasn't muted, but when I looked at her, I didn't see her.
"Where'd Harper go?"
"Shit." I hit my head with my palm. "Shit, shit, shit. He got in my head enough I forgot almost everything we even talked about. I remember we talked about soulmates, Alex. He listened to our conversation at the store where you talked about Christopher and math and I did about Harper and Oliver."
"What?"
"Alex, he said I'll have anger issues like him and might take it out on Harper like he did to my mom." I wasn't ready to tell Alex I actually asked if my own anger things were because of him. Not yet. "He said all this shit and I think it might've affected Harper, too."
"Holy shit, text Oliver."
I nodded and did that, not leaving the Skype call with Harper.