THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT [A.L]

LETTER 4

Dear Julio,

I was strong enough not to cry at your funerals. You know how private I am about my feelings and I actually think you'd be happy that at least one person didn't cry.

It was a very emotional moment, especially when they brought the casket inside the church. I'm still mad they refused me to be one of the carriers. « You're too young » well maybe but it's my brother in this casket.

You would have hated it since everyone was crying (apart from me of course). Charles glared at me the entire time. I think he wanted to see me cry.

I didn't even cry when I got home. I decided to write a letter to express my feelings directly to you, even if you'll never be able to read it.

Mom and dad want me to see a therapist to get over your death. I agree with them, I think I need it. Talking about you to someone who won't cry when I mention you will be great.

Tomorrow we are seeing the notary to read your will since apparently you had one already written. I'm not expecting anything to be honest. I'd just like some of your trophies and helmets, that'd be great.

I miss you

Loulou