Frerard - New Beginnings

1

Frank sat quietly in his small, secluded home. He didn't sleep well; he never did these days, so he just pulled the blanket tighter around himself and continued to look out of the window into the vast nothingness of the night sky. The immense, black canvas, speckled with shimmering white stars should have been peaceful. It was, in fact a little calming, but the constant anxiety was simply a part of Frank's being now. It was as much a part of him as the drum of his heart, beating of its own accord within his chest, or the in and out of his breath entering and leaving his lungs. It was just a part of his makeup now, and he was finally beginning to learn to live with it. His eyes darted around the darkness of his wild garden, convincing themselves that they had seen something move out of one of their corners. Having looked a little harder, Frank realised it was simply the rustle of a bush and not anything to fear.

He found the night times the hardest. He would convince himself that he could hear footsteps or tapping at the door, only accepting that it was simply the noises of this old house once he had checked the locks yet again on every door and window. Then he would curl up in this old armchair and read for a little while, before watching the sky turn to its darkest and eventually getting a short burst of uneasy sleep.

The days were easier to deal with. He had his job at the local grocery store, which managed to keep his mind off things for a few hours, or at the weekends he would watch TV and tend to his house, which was dilapidated to say the least, and always in need of something repairing or maintaining.

He had no friends. The people of this town were just now beginning to accept him a little, although they still weren't particularly warm towards him. They hadn't liked the sudden appearance of this young twenty something, complete with tattoos and piercings making himself at home in their quaint little town. They had all instantly judged him as being untrustworthy and someone to steer clear of. He was fine with that. He didn't want to be here either, but it was how it was. He knew he didn't fit in, but what choice did he have?

He was grateful to Mr Way who had reluctantly given him a chance of work at his store. Frank knew that it was out of desperation; Mr Way looking to retire soon and wanting to spend more time fishing and helping his ailing wife, but he was still thankful for the opportunity. He quietly got on with his job and enjoyed the routine of it. He had never had routine before. His previous life had been chaotic to say the least. He had never had any real sense of worth, so he honestly took pride in his job at the store. He never shirked, and when it was quiet, he would re-arrange the shelving or tidy out the store cupboard, mop the floors or brush up outside. He suspected Mr Way was pleased with him, although he had never yet said that outright.

"Goodnight Mr Way" Frank said as he pulled his jacket on.

"Night Frank" Mr Way replied without looking up.

"And thanks" he added, much to Frank's surprise.

Frank just looked back at him with confusion.

"You're doing a good job son" Mr Way said, clearing his throat a little awkwardly. "A real good job."

"Thank you" Frank replied quietly, suppressing the lump that had formed in his throat from the simple words of gratitude. He had literally just been thinking that Mr Way had never said anything like that to him, yet here he was thanking him for his service. It made him immensely proud, even though he knew that was ridiculous.

He left the store with a smile on his face and walked home at a slightly bouncier pace, instead of the usual trudge with hood up and shoulders rounded looking at the floor as he went.

"Evening!" he smiled as he passed an elderly lady out walking her dog.

She looked at him warily, before dragging her dog across the road to get out of Frank's way.

Frank rolled his eyes but didn't let the old witch ruin his mood.

He went home and cooked dinner, even playing some music as he did. He felt upbeat and he couldn't honestly remember the last time he had felt that way.

Still as the dark sky rolled in, Frank's nerves were once again on high alert, and any earlier feelings of contentment soon became a distant memory as he looked anxiously out into the nothingness and prayed for sleep.

--------------------

Gerard was a mess. There was no other word for it. He was a complete fuck up and his life was derailing at an alarming pace.

Having dropped out of college, he had bummed around from one job to another. He was nothing more than a disappointment to his family and he hated himself for that fact. He spent most of his days drunk and high, due to absolute boredom of his life, and spent most nights hooking up with sleazy old men from the local gay bar. He was spiraling, and he knew that he was out of control, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was just falling into a bottomless well and he just couldn't seem to find any kind of ridge to grab a hold of to stop the impending doom that he was heading for. He had distanced himself from his family over the course of the last year, winding up sofa surfing in filthy apartments of 'friends', until they got bored of him and threw him out once again.

Finding himself on the streets, he had hesitantly made his way back home. His mom had cried when she opened the door, to find her dishevelled son standing on the porch. He looked so broken and beaten. She pulled him into her arms and wept as she felt his frail body beneath her hands. She just couldn't understand how this had happened. Gerard had been so bright. He had so much potential that she would never in a million years have envisaged this to be his life. She was beyond relieved that he had come home, but she was under no illusions that he needed help. He needed a change of environment, and she knew just the place for it.

"I'm not fucking going mom" Gerard shouted as he sat opposite his parents at the kitchen table.

He had been home for a couple of weeks and was looking and feeling much healthier. Donna was worried, however, that now that he was feeling a little better, he would go out once again and meet up with the dregs of the universe that he seemed to mix with, and end up in the same state all over again. She hated the people that he had associated with. She just couldn't understand how you could want to spend your time with them like her son seemed to. She needed to keep him away from them.

"Please Gerard. Just for a little while?" Donna pleaded.

"No ma!" he shouted. "I don't even fucking know 'Uncle Reg'."

"Yes you do Gerard" his dad spoke up. "I know it's been a long time Gerard, but he's a good man. He doesn't have to take you in you know, but my brother is willing to do that for you."

"Oh good for him" Gerard laughed humourlessly. "What a saint he must be."

"If you won't do it for us, do it for Mikey!" Donna begged.

Gerard shook his head. That wasn't fair. She knew Mikey was his weak spot and she was using it to her advantage.

"Fine. Whatever" Gerard said before standing and storming off to his room.

He began to throw stuff into an over sized holdall in temper. His breathing was frantic and he mumbled angrily to himself as he tossed clothes and books into the bag.

He would go. He would go to the shitty, boring town that his uncle lived in, just to prove to his parents that he could. He wouldn't make it easy on Uncle Reg however, and he would soon have him packed up and heading home, but at least his mom and dad couldn't say he hadn't done as they'd asked. Could they?

The following day, he said a hasty goodbye to his mom, and a kinder one to his brother, and then begrudgingly climbed into the car alongside his dad for the long drive ahead.

Frank was just leaving work for the evening when he saw something that caught his eye. He hovered by the bus stop for a little while, lighting up his cigarette as he took in the unusual scene. The car had pulled up at the side of the store, by Mr Way's house. An older man stepped out and retrieved a large bag from the trunk, followed by another man who climbed out of the passenger seat.

Frank had to do a double take when he saw the younger man whose eyes darted around, looking uneasy at his surroundings. Frank put his hood up and stayed out of sight from the nervous eyes, but he couldn't look away. He swallowed hard as he took in the pale skin, jean jacket, heavy boots and shocking red hair.

Fuck he was beautiful. Yet his sudden appearance made Frank nervous - nervous yet excited!