nhl imagines

safety net, thomas bordeleau

Things with Thomas were never perfect, they were sometimes complicated. There were times when he would make you the happiest girl alive and then there were other times. Other times where you really had to question whether Thomas cared about you or not. You knew he cared for you, but you didn't know if he cared about you. There was a difference, a huge difference for you. It all depended on what situation you guys were in and most times than not, it wasn't a good one. 

"Thomas, can we please stay home for one night?" You asked your sort of boyfriend, but not really your official boyfriend.

"Why the fuck would I want to do that, Y/N?" He shook his head with a dry chuckle, making you feel dumb for even asking.

"I don't want to go to a party tonight," You whispered, shrugging your shoulders.

"Then don't go," He said. "You don't have to follow me everywhere y'know."

You bit your lip as you could feel the tears setting in, as usual. "I don't," You meekly whispered.

"Then why are you trying to make me stay home because you don't want to go?" He quirked his eyebrow at you. 

"I thought we could watch a movie or something...together," You hopelessly shrugged.

"Sounds boring," He muttered. "But you can do that while I'm gone. Have fun baby," He kissed you on the forehead and grabbed his favorite party jacket from his desk chair. "Feel free to stay here if you want. I'll be back in the morning," And he was gone.

You knew he didn't mean to hurt you, but sometimes it felt like that was the only thing he knew how to do. He was just trying to live his life to the fullest and you understood that. You understood that every time you got sent a new picture of Thomas kissing some random girl. He would always come back to you and you would be there to welcome him back.

You changed into your favorite hoodie of his and laid down in his bed. You didn't do anything, you just started into the dark abyss of his room. The times when he made you so happy replaying in your mind. But the times when you sat waiting for him to come home while he was with another girl towered over your shoulder like a shadow.

It was the same terrible, terrible cycle. It destroyed you every single time, and you didn't know if you could do it much longer, but you could never leave Thom.

The sun rose along with bad decisions and regret. He would find you curled up in his bed with his clothes on and clutching his pillow as if it were him. He would slowly try and get into bed with you, just wanting to feel you close to him. He wanted you to soothe the small small part of guilt he felt.

As soon as you opened your eyes, you could feel your mouth dry up, all of the water in your body heading to your eyes. He knew you were awake when he felt your heartbeat increasing, he brushed the hair out of your face and cupped your cheeks.

It was so strong--the smell of alcohol and perfume. It broke you.

You felt his arms coming around your waist and your head being pulled into his chest. His hand being moved up and down your back, his sweatshirt being nudged up every time he did it. When his hand came into contact with your skin everything broke.

You sprung away from his touch, the fresh, non-sinful, air coming into your lungs as you rapidly breathed. You couldn't take it anymore.

Thomas immediately sat up to comfort you, "Baby, what's wrong?" He cupped your cheeks and tried to make you look at him. "What's the matter?"

Your breathing only picked up as you felt the scolding hot feeling of his hand on your skin. You shoved his hands away from your face and your panicking got slightly better.