I Am The Sea || Choi San

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Theo spends the night by San's side, changing his bandages, checking on his pulse count.
She barely sleeps, too agitated by San's unsteady breathing and sweat-slicked skin. When the sun is about to rise again, San begins to shiver uncontrollably even though his skin is burning hot to the touch.
He has developed a fever.

When Yeosang comes in with a plate full of bread, cheese, and strawberries, San hasn't opened his eyes for hours.
Theo tries everything she can think of, spends hours brewing teas and making ointments, but nothing seems to work.
San does not get better - and after three days, Theo has exhausted her knowledge and ability to the maximum.

Yeosang has taken it upon himself, together with Seonghwa, to take care of Theo while she takes care of San.
He has brought her a bowl or plate of every meal, has watched over San whenever Theo couldn't keep herself up anymore, and has outdone himself trying to help Theo with her herbal medicine.

Now, three days later, he steps into the room again, carrying a cup of sweetened, warm milk.
"We'll make port in Crook's Port soon," he says, "You should rest."
"I can't," Theo responds as she takes the cup from him, "I need to check his bandages again. He needs more water, but he's barely awake enough to swallow anything."
Yeosang sits down beside her, watching as Theo gently raises her hand to San's face and strokes away a strand of his hair.
"I miss his voice," she says quietly, "It's my fault he got hurt. Commander Lawrence recognized me at the ball. If I hadn't been there, the boys could have just slipped out unnoticed. No one would have known the map was gone."

"They would have figured it out," Yeosang smiles at her, "Probably by the next day, or something. The Commander would have traced it to the Inception one way or another, it is not your fault. I don't like to say it but we got to give credit where it's due, and this is not due to you. Commander Lawrence is a capable man."
Theo does not answer, Yeosang does not expect her to.
He sits with her until they arrive in Crook's Port, until Yunho and Mingi come to put San on a gurney and carry him out of Theo's room and off the ship.

San coughs, though he barely registers anything around him.
There's only pain.
He tries opening his eyes, but they're heavy and he's tired.
He wants to sleep. He knows he shouldn't. He needs to stay awake.
He needs to speak with Theo.
He needs to tell her about-... about-...

His thoughts are fleeting, he can't seem to keep them close long enough to finish them.
He's moving now, the sway of the ship is gone, replaced by the rhythmic steps of someone - left and right, right and left, who knows.
He's getting dizzy from the feeling of it all.
There are voices, he knows them, but he can't understand them.
His right side is killing him. Someone needs to make it stop.
Everything is so heavy.
It's cold. He's shivering.
It's so cold.
Then there is nothing.

The next time San wakes, he is not swaying anymore.
And he's not cold anymore.
Someone is holding his head, letting drops of something watery and hellishly bitter drip between his lips and into his throat.
Then they gently put his head down again.
Then, later, someone takes his hand and interlaces their fingers.
Theo.
He would recognize her from a thousand miles away.
She smells like the ocean breeze. Her fingers are warm.

She speaks with someone but San can't hear them. Maybe he does not know them. Maybe he does not need to.
Theo's thumb is drawing circles onto the back of his hand.
"You did the right thing," the voice now says, clearer and stronger.
Theo answers, but San misses what she says.
Her fingers are now on the inside of his wrist, gently measuring his pulse.
He can't concentrate.
"...A long journey ahead of you-... trust your instincts-..."
The strange voice is warm but quiet, like it hasn't been used in a long time.
It does not matter, nothing matters but this: Theo presses her lips against the palm of his hand, as softly as a butterfly's wing.