I Am The Sea || Choi San

truth

There is a loose piece of thread coming out of the bottom of Theo's skirt, unraveling the bottom hem slowly and gradually. She'll have to fix this once she can get back to her room and her sewing kit, before the entire bottom part comes undone. Not now, though.

Now, she sits in the Captain's cabin, nervously fiddling with her clothes, flexing her fingers into the fabric. She's sweating and breathing feels like trying to inhale water or soap. Her scalp is itchy, but Theo refrains from scratching her head while Hongjoong sits across from her behind his desk, watching her silently.

Theo's entire body longs for the warm embrace of San's strong arms or the sound of his bubbly giggle that brushes out between his lips only for her sometimes, when no one else is listening. It's only been minutes since the kraken had disappeared between the waves, and Theo is exhausted. There's a heavy fog in her head that clouds her rational thinking and even though she is trying not to, sleepiness is pulling her eyes shut.

Hongjoong takes a deep breath. He does not know how to start as he watches this girl sit like a sad sack of potatoes on his bed across his desk. Sometimes, in situations like these, he almost wishes he was the type to hug and cuddle everyone and anyone the way Wooyoung and San do. But comforting someone isn't something that comes easily to Hongjoong - except with Seonghwa, who takes up a very special place behind his ribs.

He watches as Theo drives her hands through her long hair, slightly knotted and greasy. He takes a quill into his hands to keep them busy, before he leans forward on his elbows.

"I want you to know that I am not mad at you," he starts, "I am thankful. What you did out there saved our lives."

Theo looks up and meets Hongjoong's eyes. Her cheeks are blotched and red, but she smiles shyly, shrugging helplessly.

"Honestly, I don't remember half of it," she says quietly, "I just did what my body told me to. It was like following a calling or-... I don't know. I don't feel like I deserve all this gratitude."

"Still, without you, we'd all be at the bottom of the sea." Hongjoong narrows his eyes for a second. "Have you always had these episodes?"

"Episodes?"

"Forgetting things that happened," Hongjoong explains.

Theo thinks for a moment. Then she says, "Can I be honest?"

"Always."

"Ever since I joined your crew, there have been times when I couldn't see. It happened today too, when the kraken attacked. It's like there's a bright, white light blinding me to a point where I can't see anything at all. It never happened before, back when I still lived in Ryumond or in our city house. I think maybe I am going blind."

Theo rubs her face and presses her hands to her eyes, adding, "Or maybe I'm not going blind, just insane. I have started hearing voices. The kraken's, too. I could hear it speak in my head. I don't know what's going on with me. It's never been like this back home."

"I'm sorry," Hongjoong answers. "It must be difficult to go through all of this, but I don't think you're going insane. I think you're cursed."

Theo stares at him, dropping her hands into her lap. She blinks, but Hongjoong only returns her stare, waiting for her to take his words in. When Theo does not speak, not even after a few minutes of complete silence, he sighs and wets his lips.

"Think about it, Theo," he says, "You knew about the kraken attack before anyone else. You knew about the Pirate King coming at us all those weeks ago. How else would that be possible if you're not gifted with some sort of spell or magic or curse that gives you these visions? And how else would you explain the fact that you're the only one on this ship, on all the seven seas perhaps, that can read the map of the Pearl's location?"