CHAINED // hyunlix

chapter 18

TW

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They finished eating and got back on the road. they day went by, just endless driving and a few bathroom stops. They switched drivers to Chan at one point, because Hyunjin was getting so tired he almost drove off the road.

"I can drive too, you know" Felix said.

"I'm not sure I'd trust you with my lady", Hyunjin said patting the car seat.

"hmph"

Hyunjin took a nap laying in the backseat. Felix remembered he still had the blanket. He took it, spread it out, and laid it down on Hyunjin.

It was slowly becoming dark again, and they were all exhausted. It turned out taking short naps on the road wasn't too effective on the long term.
They all agreed to rest the night at a motel like they talked about, or whatever place they came across.
They had driven far away from the city, and when they looked out of the windows they mostly saw fields, old buildings and trees. and a few gas stops here and there.

It was already fully dark when they finally noticed a motel on the side of the road.

Chan pulled over in front of it, and they got all of their stuff from the trunk. there were only a few other cars on the little parking lot.

the motel looked quite old, but not totally horrible. the lights in the red 'motel' sign were broken on the letter 'e'.

they walked inside and looked around. the walls were light orange, and had vines crawling all over them. someone was watering the pots where the vines grew from. the lighting was dim. the receptionist was gone, but there was a little bell on the wooden desk. Hyunjin pressed it.

"just a second"
the woman watering the plants said as she poured the last drop of water for the vines.

she walked behind the desk taking short steps, holding the empty watering can.

"welcome." she said tiredly.

"t... three rooms, please. for one night."

"I'm sorry, we only have two available. we only have a few rooms to begin with."

"then we'll take those two, please."

Felix immediately thought about having to share with Chan. that was the only logical option, right? Felix was a guard like Chan. guards shared apartments back a the building, too. But Hyunjin obviously had his own apartment, or in this case room, and privacy.

"alright."

Hyunjin paid for the rooms and the woman handed him keys.

"that way" she pointed outside and to the right.

they grabbed their bags mostly filled with clothes and went back outside. the keys had '8' and '9' on them.
the three guys stopped in front of the rooms, Chan and Felix waiting for their boss to tell them which room they would take.

Hyunjin handed the key with the number '8' on it to Chan.

"You can have that room, Chan."

Chan opened the door with the key and walked in. Felix was just about to follow him, when Hyunjin tapped his shoulder.

Felix turned around and saw Hyunjin standing there, handing him the other key.

"I thought I was going to share with Chan?"

"No, you can come with me."

"alright, sir."

Felix grabbed the key that was being handed to him and opened the door to room 9.

The room was small but kind of cozy. nothing too fancy, of course. there was one bathroom with a shower, a table and two chairs, bedside tables with night lamps, and TWO beds.
Felix let out the nervous breath he was holding.

they put down their bags and Hyunjin threw himself on the other bed.

"ahh. a bed."

Felix sat down on his.

"I think I'm going to take a quick shower."

"go ahead."

Felix did pack a towel, and some shampoo and soap with his toiletries.
but something else was also weighing down his toiletry bag.
not literally, but that blade felt like the heaviest thing he had in there.

he went in the bathroom, and closed the door behind him, which to Felix's disappointment couldn't be locked.

Felix had to change his bandages to the wounds Mr. Yang inflicted, as well. He took his clothes and the old bandages off and stepped in the shower. He had to wait a second for the water to turn warm.

He took a short shower and then stepped out, leaving the hot water still running.
he dried himself off a bit, wrapped the towel around his waist, and then grabbed the blade from the little toiletry bag.
it was shiny under the bright bathroom light.
Felix felt bad about what he was about to do, but he couldn't stop himself. he hadn't had the chance to do this in a while, as someone was constantly keeping him company during his recovery. his broken wrist also slightly complicated things, which he decided to ignore this time.

Hyunjin remembered Felix said he was going to take a "quick" shower.
it had been 20 minutes now, and he heard the water still running.

Hyunjin was worried, so he got up and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Felix? you okay?"

no answer.

"Felix??"

"mmh..." Hyunjin heard a silent voice mumble.
it didn't come from the shower, but from the floor, right next to the door.

"that's it I'm coming in" Hyunjin said and opened the door..,

,..opened the door to find Felix sitting on the floor, the fingers that were poking out of a cast holding a blade, and his other forearm covered in fresh cuts that were bleeding on the floor and Felix's white towel.

"jesus christ..." he whispered to himself quietly, turning away from the sight for a second to pull himself together.

"Felix?" Hyunjin turned back and squat down next to Felix.

"Felix come on, let's get up, let's get up..."
He tried desperately and partly panicking to get Felix to move, but he was in some kind of an euphoric state and didn't respond. Hyunjin turned the shower off.

Eventually Felix woke up a bit, with Hyunjin shaking his head and squeezing his cheeks, and he let Hyunjin help him up.

They walked out of the bathroom, and Hyunjin helped Felix to sit down on his bed. he stroked Felix's wet hair out of his face, and then went back to the bathroom.

He came back with Felix's bandages, cotton pads and cleaning solution.
Hyunjin kneeled in front of Felix quietly and started cleaning the cuts gently.
It stung a little bit, but it was nothing to Felix, who wasn't sure what to say.

"I'm sorry. Look, it's fine, I don't need you to..."

"yes you do." "And don't be sorry. it's okay.
but you don't need to do this to yourself."
he said looking at Felix in the eyes.
Felix was speechless.

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