CHAINED // hyunlix

bonus chapters ~ blinded. 1

Angst warning

Continuation to what happened next after Felix's death, others finding out about him...

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Felix's smile faded. His eyes were unfocused, and his mouth was gasping for words he couldn't seem to get out.

Hyunjin looked down and saw a dark red stain seep into the soft fabric of Felix's hoodie.
Felix touched the stain with his fingers, looking down at it and then back at Hyunjin's eyes. Hyunjin saw fear spread on his face.

"Lix?!" He cried out.

Felix collapsed onto his arms, and Hyunjin wrapped his arms around him again.

"I... love.. you."  Felix managed to say between desperate gasps of air.

Hyunjin crouched over his body, buried his face in his hands and cried, shouting Felix's name.

~~~

Hyunjin laid in his bed, fully clothed on top of the blanket. His eyes were wide open.
He was squeezing his little chick plushie against his chest as hard as he could.

It had been weeks.

He hadn't been outside of his apartment since he'd been dragged up there that day - after hours of laying on the cold tile floor in the lobby, surrounded by a pool of blood that wasn't his.

He'd cried his eyes out, asking desperately for Felix to come back, to just please come back. He'd stared at his blood stained, shaky hands, his tears blurring his vision.
His broken cries that turned into quiet sobs had echoed through the empty lobby, and it was an oddly surreal sight. Hyunjin looked so small.
Even a random passerby would know that it was a scene you wouldn't wish for your worst enemy.
Nothing more heartbreaking than a soulmate lost.

In that moment it had hurt so much he thought he was dying. He couldn't breathe, it felt like his chest was caving in, like a black hole had been put in place of his heart.
His hands reached out for something that was no longer here, a love that was crushed into tiny pieces and scattered like Felix's freckles or stars in the sky.
Tiny pieces that no amount of glue or willpower would bring back together.

And it all felt so surreal. Felix's warm hand that he'd been holding just a minute ago was now out of his reach for an eternity.

He cried for so long that no more tears were left, and he could only blankly stare into nothingness. Such a big piece of your heart missing does something to a person - you wish for the pain to stop, you wish to become numb.
And you wish it was easy.
But it never is.
The pain doesn't go away, and even though you want to cry it out, it won't let you off that easy. It sticks to you like syrup and seeps through your skin and bones. It goes so deep you feel it become a part of you, changing you. And you can't stop it.

No one had checked on Hyunjin. No one.
He had no one.

He hadn't showered. It's probably weird to you but he didn't want to wash off the blood on his hands - it was the last proof of Felix ever being real and close to him. The only trace, the only physical part of him that was left for Hyunjin.

He'd barely eaten. No one had brought him food. He'd barely slept, and he'd lost a lot of weight. His chick plushie hadn't been let go of in days.

Those things barely managed to bother him.
Nothing else was important apart from Felix.
If he really was gone, Hyunjin needed to cherish the memories of his presence while they were still fresh;
The way his gentle touch felt,
the depth of his voice and the sweet sound of his laughter,
his sparkly eyes, his fluffy hair, and his perfectly shaped lips that Hyunjin was lucky enough to press his own against. His little freckles.

All that now only existed in Hyunjin's brain, and oh how he wished he'd appreciated it more while his soulmate was still in front of him.

He'd give up everything, he'd sell his soul, spend an eternity in hell, starve to death, anything, just so he could hug Felix one last time. Tell him that he loves him, tell him that he's sorry.
So sorry.

A gentle knock was on his door.

"Hyunjin?"

Another knock.

"Brother?"

Hyunjin just blinked as an answer, but obviously no one behind the door could see it.

"I'm coming in."

No!
Hyunjin wanted to yell, but his body wouldn't let him. He wasn't physically able to. He just stared.

Someone walked around the apartment searching for him and when they reached the bedroom, their gaze softened in pity.

Yonjun lifted his glasses up with his finger a bit and then asked carefully;

"Hyunjin? Have you eaten?

...Come on, let's get up and eat something."
He placed his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder carefully.

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ik it's short sorry...
Tbh I teared up real bad while writing this

Since I kind of have to put myself in place of Hyunjin to be able to write about how he feels it's just painful