Hay Season

Chapter 16

Rylan

I quit nagging him and prayed for the Lord to help me love him again. ~ Susan Sanford ~

The existence of God has been a subject that has been pounded into me at an early age. I was always told that I had to live a certain way, present myself to the world the way that would make any believer proud, and ensure I followed all the rules my father set. One of those rules included never falling in love with someone outside of what he believed was religiously correct. Unfortunately, my heart had other ideas. But I don't believe that I went against God in his eyes. Instead, it's my dad's eyes that I see. It's his hate staring at me. Not God's.

~Our Hometown of Dewbridge/Journal Entry by Darby Jones

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And the courtship of Mattie Mackey begins under the watchful eye of Dewbridge. August turns into September, then into October. Ladonna seems to be letting go of her tie on me on the outside, but I know her better than she knows herself. She's not done yet. Mattie's father has ended another year of haying, leaving Mack and her mom tired and exhausted. His drunken escapades won't end, but they'll be alleviated throughout the winter months. He'll play an active role in town again until the next hay season. I'm hoping they get a reprieve. My parents are remaining silent on my dating life, but the tension in our home is almost unbearable. There is something they aren't telling me, and I'm determined to find out what it is. Their attitude is why I haven't brought her around my family yet. I can't protect Mattie from every nasty comment that comes her way when it comes to her and me. Still, I love her, and I've sent enough threats out through my friends and me that I hope Dewbridge High has gotten the message. There are only a few Ladonna supporters in our school, but due to her father's reign in the town, they'll allow her to talk them into helping her campaign. And despite the rumors, I'm taking it slow with Mattie. It's one of the hardest things I've had to do to date. Being near her and not ravishing her is nearly impossible. Still, I'm managing out of respect for Mattie to give her what she deserves. She needs time to adjust to the differences between us. Between football and school functions, I'm limited on time. She hasn't complained, but I know she's feeling the strain as much as I am.

Darby had two more doctor appointments before finally relenting and making the move to tell her parents. Besides that, her stomach is getting harder and harder to hide. Mattie's here for moral support, and I won't let Thomas face it alone. A brother doesn't leave a brother in the dark alone. Tad made us promise to give him all the gory details, as he called it. He was disappointed that he would be out of town with his father this weekend and couldn't attend the grand reveal. Leaning on the wall leading into the Jones' living room, I suddenly feel older than eighteen. Darby's mom offers us a glass of iced tea while we wait. We decline. None of us feel the need to eat or drink. Although I'm not in their shoes, my stomach is twisting. I can't imagine what they're feeling. Thomas reaches out to grab Darby's hand but thinks better of it. He doesn't want to start off on the wrong foot. I hate to tell him that he's already walking on fire. Mattie glances at me, and I take her hand. I don't have any qualms about showing my feelings for the girl next to me, but I'm not in the boat our friends are.

What would the situation be like if it was reversed? How would I handle that kind of news? Would a baby make a difference? Looking at Mattie without her knowing it, I know exactly how I'd feel. I'd feel like I do now, but more in love with her than I am right now. My baby growing inside of her would be a bond that no one could touch. I'm not ready for that step yet, but I know I will be in the future. She turns to see me watching her, and I squeeze her hand. A throat clearing catches our attention, and I look up to find a stern-looking Harold Jones staring at our interlaced fingers. He's got that minister type of intimidation working in his favor. I let go, not because he scares me, but because I'm in his home, and there's a certain respect in that.