Hay Season

Chapter 22

Rylan

Even through my trials, the joy I carried affected others. ~ Susan Sanford ~

Life can change in the twinkling of an eye. You're doing the most mundane task one second; you're gone without warning the next. There's no preparation for the life you had only moments before because it's suddenly gone. In its place is a void forever empty, a black abyss that swallows you and everyone around you.

~Our Hometown of Dewbridge/Journal Entry by Mattie Mackey

__________________________________________

I'd made it to the passenger side door of Mathinson's truck when I heard her scream. It's a scream that'll be implanted in my memory forever. Not once looking back to see if anyone notices, I shoot off toward the house. I barely hear Ladonna's aggravated yell before she tells Michael to forget it and go. The trucks rev up and pull out, but I don't look behind me. Slamming the door open, I run inside.

"Mattie!

Making my way around the corner, I stop short and stare. It takes a minute for my brain to catch up to what my eyes are witnessing.

"Momma? Momma? Wake up, momma."

The sobs coming from her body are unnerving. My body finally catches up and jumps into action. Standing next to me is Tad. I yell at him to call 911, but he continues to gawk. He's frozen in place, the despair on his face registering the shock I know he's in. Pushing Mattie over gently, I kneel down in front of her and try to remember the lifeguard classes I had to attend when I worked for the local YMCA last summer.

"What do you need, man?" Devin's voice rings out over Mattie's sobs, and I'm relieved to see that he and Thomas have remained behind.

"Call 911." I call off the address for him while I reach for Mrs. Mackey's hand. Dread fills me when I feel how weak her pulse is. I work in an attempt to resuscitate her, but I'm not hopeful. My memory bounces back to when she flagged me down on my way home a few nights ago.

"I'm sick."

Mattie's truck is gone. I know she's finishing her shift at the animal clinic. As she rocks back and forth in the rocking chair on the porch, Mrs. Mackey looks too calm for someone making that kind of revelation. I sit in the chair next to her.

"When you say sick, what exactly do you mean?"

She looks at her hands, and I know it can't be good by the way she hesitates.

"I'm dying."

Too stunned to speak, it takes me a few minutes to ask.

"Have you told Mattie?"

"I don't want her to know."

A muscle in my jaw twitches. "Don't you think she deserves to know?"

"You've always been there for her. You've been her protector ..."

"I can't protect her from something like this, Mrs. Mackey," I interrupt her.

Her eyes are busy studying her hands and when she finally looks up, there's moisture in her eyes.

"I realize that, Rylan, but I don't want her to know because I need this time with her. I need the time I have left to spend with her without her doing what she does too well, taking care of me. I don't want to be coddled. I want to love her without this in front of us."

Silence.

"And there's more at stake than just me wanting to spend time with her. One day, it'll be revealed, but not right now."

"There's nothing the doctors can do?"

There has to be some kind of hope. My heart is breaking for the girl I'm in love with, and I'm grasping at straws. She shakes her head, and I take a deep breath to calm myself.

"The tumor's in my brain. Treatment didn't work. The doctors say there's nothing else they can do."

Staring at Mattie's mother, I notice her hair for the first time. It's still the same shade of blonde and the same hairstyle I've always seen it in. She notices my stares and smiles before reaching up and touching the locks.

"What they can do with a wig these days is amazing."

"That's where you've been slipping off to. Mattie's mentioned all the extra errands and you dressing up more lately."

The telltale signs are there. The shadows under her eyes are barely covered by the make-up that's wearing off in the afternoon heat. Her eyes look weak. Trying to hide her condition is wearing her down.

"Maybe I can help. If I talk to my father, I'm sure he'll be happy to donate some money to find the medical help you need."

She shakes her head while taking one of my hands in hers.

"Rylan. Always trying so hard. There's nothing more to do. I've accepted that."

I squeeze her hand before whispering, "I can't keep something like this from her."

It's taking a lot to keep my own tears at bay. Mrs. Mackey is like a second mother to me, to all of us. The world is losing one of its stars.

"I know what I'm asking is wrong, but I need you to do this. I need you to lift her up when she starts to fall. I'll take care of Mattie."

A tear falls, and I hate myself for it.

"I wouldn't ask. I hope you understand that, but I have some unfinished business to tend to. I need you to trust me."

I don't like not telling Mattie. It feels wrong on many levels, but Mrs. Mackey isn't the type of person to ask something of someone unless it's important. Against my better judgment, I keep silent.

"How long do you have?"

I hear the sound of a truck coming down the road. As Mattie's truck pulls into the driveway, her mom stands.

"Not long enough."

The room gets quiet, and by the time I hear the sirens approaching, I can tell by the tears running down Mattie's face that she's realized her momma's gone. It's a quiet type of cry, the worst kind. The kind that lets you know a person's heart is breaking, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to piece it back together. EMTs rush in, and everything seems to move in slow motion. They don't announce her death on the scene. Instead, they signal for us to follow them to the hospital. Pulling gently on her hand, I manage to get Mattie to let go of her mother's hand so they can load her up on the ambulance. Silent tears run down her face, and she stands there and stares at the van as it pulls out of her driveway. Frozen in place, she stares at the road long after the sirens disappear.

Touching her shoulder, I don't have to wait long before she buries her head in my chest. Her body shakes with the tears she's been holding back. Shutting my eyes, I tighten my arms around her until I feel another set of arms around her on the other side. Looking up, I meet Tad's eyes. He's crying, too, and I have never felt as guilty as I do right now. I was prepared. I'd had time to cry in the privacy of my room before the world took Mrs. Mackey away. I knew, and I never said anything. The sky beckons me, and I can't help but mouth the words in its direction, "I trust you."