I promised you. | Austin Butler

Part 5

The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks but it was very much welcomed. My tiredness subsiding slightly as the cold breeze gave an instant shock to my body. It was beautiful outside the grand hall, I knew the wedding pictures from this morning would look like something out of a fairytale, but at night it was even more magical. I curse myself slightly for not allowing myself to come out here earlier and snap some photos with Andrew. I picture us instantly standing under the arches to the hall that were glittering with sparkling fairy lights and smiling for a photo, a photo to capture such a special day that we would remember forever. There were small tables and chairs  situated all over the grounds now that weren't there this morning, obviously knowing that people like to gather in groups for cigarettes and drinks sometimes away from the hustle and bustle of the main wedding hall. A quick glance at Austin watch, shiny and expensive, tells me its 01:45am. I hear the bartender ring the bell for last orders and a few people stubbing out their cigarettes so they could get a last drink in before bed. My longing for an alcoholic drink had soon left me and I was grateful when Austin pulled out a chair for me to sit on, him taking the chair at the side of me.

There were still people around, in fact it felt like half the wedding guests where outside at this point, but in that moment it felt like just me and him. He wasn't touching me now and he was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, looking out to the grass. I follow his gaze and notice Danielles sister and her new boyfriend lay on the grass, their voices closes enough to hear but too far to make out what they were saying. They were holding hands and laughing, pointing up at the stars. I smile and Austin shares a chuckle before he leans back, our chairs close enough so his shoulder brushes mine. We don't say anything for a while but I shuffle my position so that one of my legs is across the other and my foot accidentally brushes his suit trousers. He looks at me then and I look back at him. 

"Are you happy?" he asks softly. 

"I'm tired" I admit, and he shakes his head and laughs.

"I mean, in general. With Andrew?"

My breathe glitches then at the sound of my boyfriends name in his raspy voice. I'm not sure talking about your current love affairs with your ex boyfriend of many years was ever going to be comfortable, but I wasn't going to lie to him despite to evening we had just shared. 

"Yeah" I smile. "I am"

"Do you love him?"

I stop then and look out towards Danielles sister and boyfriend again and watch them for a while. They were so young, only 18, and so care free from the world. You could see how madly in love they were and it tugged my heart ever so slightly. Did I love Andrew? I'd said it to him many of times and I meant it, and he'd said it back. Our relationship was blossoming perfectly, he was slowly starting to leave things in my apartment and not take them home, I was starting to buy his favourite foods in my weekly food shops, his presence made me smile and and I looked forward to nights alone with him. He got on with my family, he got on with my friends. It was text book perfect.

"Yeah" I mutter out truthfully, and Austin lets out a soft sigh.

"I missed you, you know" he begins. "so much. Everyday was so hard" I'm startled by his words but I felt what he meant. "I lay with you for hours that night, when you drifted off. I couldn't bring myself to go"

He's not looking at me now but I'm looking at him. Watching as a gust of wind blew his hair in the wind, an instant chill coming over my body and goosebumps appearing on my arms. He looks across to me and his eyes scan my body before he stands up, taking his blazer off in an instant. 

"Austin. I'm fine" I mutter but he doesn't listen as he pushes my shoulder forward slightly so I'm forced to lean forward in the chair as he wraps his blazer around me. His scent felt so familiar against me and I couldn't help bring it tighter across myself as he sat himself back down, his hand coming to my knee and his thumb working circles on it.