Dear Diary

8. THE VOICE

J E R O M E

Tori's going on about how she's fully able to buy her own meal as we're seated on our side of the large table. I'm telling her it's more so the principle of me paying for it rather than her being incapable of doing so.

"I'm supposed to pay for my lady," I say, kissing her cheek.

"We don't have to conform to societal gender norms. I intended on buying the chicken sandwich with my money, not yours," she says.

"It's not about upholding societal gender norms. It's about me wanting to pay for you because I love you, and I don't mind doing it." I put an arm over her shoulder. "You know that, girl."

"You're so chivalrous, huh?" She knows she won't win this battle, but it's clear she doesn't mind that much. Actually, she probably loves the fact that I'm so insistent on taking care of her. She struggles with insecurity, and for a while it made our relationship rocky. She wasn't used to a guy treating her like she should be treated, and when we'd have our disputes, she'd regress into a really spiteful person. A defense mechanism, I guess. But we've made it past the hard parts. Now it's a matter of growing together.

She leans into me, saying, "I'm so lucky to have you."

I kiss her cheek. "And I, you, m'lady."

"Why don't you two get a room with all your lovey-dovey perfect couple stuff?" Gio quips from across the table. He turns to Derek. "Can you believe them?"

Derek shrugs. "Sounds like you're jealous."

"Yeah, bruh, stop being a hater," I say to him, to which Tori snickers.

Gio snorts. "You don't have anything for me to hate on, brother."

I take a sip of the lemonade I ordered. "When's the last time you were with a girl, Gio?"

"Courtney Hilton, March of last year," Derek answers for him. "Very short lived."

"Did we swap names or something?" Gio says to Derek.

"Sorry. I had a thing for Courtney myself. Couldn't believe you got her before I could."

Gio looks taken aback and I kinda am, too. "They talked for like, three weeks," I point out. "Does it count?"

"As far as I care, it doesn't," Gio says. "I wasn't into it when we were talking. Not into her specifically, really."

"So who was it you were into?" Tori asks.

Gio's jaw slacks. "I, um . . ."

My boy Gio has never been good at hiding his feelings. He's not good at hiding his contempt for Brandan, and he wasn't good at hiding his feelings for Sidney. She knew how he felt and she'd tease him—asking him to apply sunscreen on her back, sitting on his lap, holding his hand. Sure, friends can do that stuff platonically, but Sidney knew what she was doing. So it was a load of bull when she pretended to be shocked after Gio finally mustered the courage to ask her out. She gave him the classic "I see you as a brother" line as if she hadn't deliberately been playing with his heart. And in typical Sidney fashion, she ran her mouth to the rest of us after she told him she wouldn't say anything. Gio was so upset he didn't speak to her for days.

Brandan came into the picture soon after that.

He hasn't answered Tori's question, so Derek speaks up. "You don't have to say it, but for the record, you deserve more than Sidney would've given you." Derek lowers his head. I'm sure saying those words about his dead sister doesn't feel the greatest.

Gio shrugs. "It's whatever. Those feelings were more or less gone by the time she passed. I moved on."

"You'll find someone," Tori says. "She could be right under your nose."