Dear Diary

EPILOGUE

Wednesday, January 1st

S A M A R A

"It's been three months since we lost you. It's a whole new year, and I wish you could've lived to see it. I hate that you didn't make it to Halloween. It wasn't the same without you running around trying to scare everyone in your corny Halloween costumes.

"We're all still trying to cope, but if there's truly a better place out there, then I know you're in it. Um, as far as updates go, Cassie and Chace are facing charges. Diana's been to see Chace a few times as far as I know. I'm sure she's going through the motions. Can't say the same for your dad, though. I don't think he's been to see Chace once after surviving that shot to his lung. It's so unfair. You're gone and Mr. Rhodes is still carrying on after all the trouble he's caused. I'd never wish death on anyone but . . . I just wish it wasn't you.

"What else? Oh. Gio and Brandan are getting along. That's good. It's refreshing to see people get over their issues." I stop talking, not knowing what else to say. "Does anyone have more to add?"

"I think we've said it all," Gio says, his tearful eyes focused on the gray headstone in front of us where Jerome's name is engraved.

Kelly hugs me. "I'm glad we came."

"It's New Years. We can't celebrate without him." My eyes scan the rest of the cemetery, and I wonder how many other people will come to spend time with loved ones they've lost this New Year's Day. My dad is on my list. I'm conflicted whether or not to visit Sidney's.

"You guys wanna head out?" asks Brandan.

"Yeah, we shouldn't be late for lunch with my mom," Derek says.

Gio doesn't seem ready to move. Brandan places a hand on his shoulder. "You wanna stay, man?"

"I'm coming," Gio says. He turns away from the grave and walks off, the rest of us trailing behind him.

I turn back to the headstone as I walk. "Goodbye, Rome."

From Dad's death, to Sidney's, to Rome's—I've spent too much time in this cemetery. It never gets easier, losing people. Especially when you've watched them die in front of you. Something like that stays ingrained in your head for life. I'm afraid of the darkness inside of me. I carry it everywhere I go now, and I don't know if I'll ever see the light again. But I'm thankful, at the very least, to be here with those who made it, right here, right now.

Derek and Kelly walk side by side and it makes me think of that secret they share. The one we all share as a collective now. Cassie never told the cops about Idris. I suppose it'd ultimately come down to her word versus ours with no real proof, since Cassie's evidence is circumstantial at best. Kelly and Derek's secret will be kept for the rest of our lives. We probably should've learned our lesson about keeping secrets like that by now. And who knows, maybe one day it'll come back to bite us. But some things can't be helped.

This one we're taking to the grave.