The Maine Event

Chapter 19

Rory hadn't wanted to talk more about the letter that evening and after finishing up her drink and instructing Finn on where to find his bedroom for the night, she just shut off.

It really didn't take Logan a lot of guessing to correctly assume what the rest of the letter had said, Rory had just spared him from the exact wording that would have haunted his mind even more. But he hated to see her like that, reticent and protective of herself. Clearly the letter had hit a cord. Logan could sense Rory's lassitude as she slipped into bed positioning herself wordlessly against his chest. They slept in a spooning position, his arms holding her firmly, fearfully, while his heart ached.

It was sometime in the middle of the night, closer to morning than evening probably, when the curve of Rory's ass instinctively grinded against him, waking him just enough so he'd take her - without words, eye-contact or lengthy kisses. It was their comfort, their pledge of love and apology all wrapped in an act without having to explain or ask.

Rory drove Logan to the airport before dawn the next morning largely in silence. Their partings were becoming a little easier, having done a number of them by now and now more than even clinging onto their promises that soon things were going to be different, despite the unspoken sorrow.

As Rory watched Logan walk through security, her gaze lingered on a family struggling with their cranky toddler at the other gate. Clearly the kid was just sleepy, as the sun had barely begun to rise. The little girl's mother knelt down in front of her, holding on to her as she kicked and screamed. Rory observed in amazement how the mother remained in control, whispering something to her to calm her. It took her perhaps thirty seconds, but whatever she had said had worked, and the girl's punches grew weaker settling on her mothers shoulders as she snuggled into her neck, wiping her tears into her scarf, allowing her to hold her.

Rory imagined herself in that position, what could've been, and still could, be her, she thought. There had never been anyone else, other than Logan, who she had wanted to have kids with. This moment was the truly first time she deeply regretted having said 'no' to him at graduation, despite not being ready herself. Things would've been so much simpler, with fewer strings, a lot less at stake and perhaps she'd already be a mother, perhaps she would have made better choices in her career, more thought-out, more balanced, less desperate grasps at straws. It was a series of 'what if'-s. She grieved it all.

It was her phone that woke her from her thoughts, another message from Lorelai, that she just archived, not having the energy to hear it. She drove back and slipped back to bed, still feeling his recent presence within her sheets, curling up, her knees drawn up and let her tears fall. She couldn't even pinpoint the reason, there was just so much, so complex, so layered.

She finally emerged from her bedroom just before noon, after hearing Finn's footsteps heading downstairs. Her mouth felt dry and eyes a little puffy, though any sign of tears had by now evaporated. As she arrived in the kitchen, Finn was making coffee, and that familiar smell seemed like a good prospect at this point along for her growling stomach.

"Up so early, Finn?" Rory teasedat the sight of him, trying to keep things positive. Clearly she knew Finn had grown significantly, but his somewhat alternative career in the hotel business enabled him some liberties in his working hours.

"Ah, only when I have such wonderful company for breakfast as you," Finn flattered friendlily, as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He could sense some bitterness in her, despite her upbeat attitude.

Rory followed his lead, taking the biggest cup the kitchen cabinet held.

"Logan up in the air already?" Finn asked.

"He ought to be above the Atlantic by now," Rory replied, glancing at the time.

"I'm flying over there in a couple of days," he noted.