RK800 Connor x Reader

Forty-Eight

Without looking back, Connor dragged you through the forest.

Every step felt like he was trying to run from something much mightier than himself. He tried to outrun the inevitable.

This was a war no one could win.

But you wanted to fight this battle as long as possible.

And Connor seemed like he was even willing to die while fighting.

It made your heart ache to see him try this hard. But at the same time it scared you because he might loose himself in something he didn't really want. Right now he had one goal and would do anything to reach it.

But it was only a matter of time until he started to realise that once that goal was completed he needed to find something else to dedicate his life to.

And it might crush him to find out that there wasn't always a fulfilling way to live this life.

Inside your chest mixed the fear of losing with the need to go on.

Dry branches cracked below the soles of your shoes as you followed Connor down a small path.

He knew where to go to. Despite his human behaviour he was still very much machine.

You locked fingers with him.

As your warm touch stroked his artificial skin he stopped and looked back.

There was a shimmer in his eyes. He smiled as your gaze met his.

"Are you tired?", he asked and grabbed your face to place a kiss on your forehead. "Should I carry you?"

You chuckled.

"No... I- I mean...", you grabbed his face. "We can still... turn around."

As you said it the look on his face darkened. With eyebrows knitted together he took a step back and pulled away.

All of a sudden you felt something inside your chest pull together.

"You want me to get shut down.", you mumbled with so much reproach in his voice and even more pain in his face.

Quickly, you shook your head and tries to calm him.

"Connor, no. All I'm saying is that we don't have a good chance of making it. I- I'm afraid of what will come. What if we don't make it?"

He swallowed hard.

"I will make it. With or without you."

Without another word he turned on his heel and walked on.

You tried to stop him.

"Connor! Where are you going?"

"To the border. I don't want to die."

"You won't die. I won't let them kill you. But... what if we don't make it? Did you ever think about it? The risk is high. The border police might pick us up. And they will bring you back to CyberLife."

Confused, he frowned.

"But... we can't stay here. It's not legal."

You sighed.

"I know. I- I don't know what to do. If we stay here you might live."

"But we won't be allowed to be together."

You shook your head.

"No.", you grabbed his face again to force him to look you in the eyes. "But... we will live. You will live."

His eyes turned empty.

All of a sudden he looked like the world had shattered underneath his feet and now he was left in an ugly nightmare that was called reality.

With a deep breath he grabbed your hands. The look on his face was such a pained one, he looked like he was physically suffering.

"Can we... can we at least try?", he asked.

He was almost begging. It was easy to tell that he struggled to let go of that image inside his head. He still wanted to taste the freedom. Or at least try getting close to it.

"Is that what you really want?", you asked.

Without wanting it your eyes looked back over your shoulder. You couldn't help but feel the urge to back out and run to safety again.

For the longest time it was all you ever knew. You've never broken any law. All your life you've been a good citizen. You always believed in the law and it had always protected you.

But now you were about to commit a crime that had no equal in this country.

And it scared you. The unknown was scary.

But as you turned to look into Connor's eyes again that feeling of doubt shrank.

Maybe this was the risk everyone always talked about.

Maybe he was your risk worth taking.

Taking a deep breath in, Connor closed his eyes.

For a moment he needed to think.

"I'm doing this because I love you.", he said, almost offended. "Don't you love me?"

A sharp pain stabbed into your chest. It pressed all the air out of your lungs.

"I do love you, Connor.", you kissed him. "And that's why I'm more afraid of loosing you then not being with you. It's fine if you live. I could have my peace knowing you're still out there. But if you're gone, truly gone... forever..."

You couldn't finish the sentence. Tears started to burning in your eyes.

After years of not being able to tell him how you felt after the incident, it felt good to have a second chance. But at the same time it hurt to talk about it again.

Loosing him once was enough.

Risking it a second time was like throwing away a winning lottery ticket.

Connor pulled you into a hug.

"I won't do anything to hurt you, I promise.", he whispered with a shaky voice. "But I need to be with you... I need to be close to you. Living isn't enough. I want to love you... Like I did yesterday night."

"And you wouldn't be satisfied with just living by my side?"

His eyes turned sad.

"It would be like living in a cage. I would see my deepest desire but will never be able to reach it. It would just be constant torture."

His words made your heart ache.

But deep down you knew that he was right. You would also struggle to stay away from him.

After suffering for years because of him, being with him was like gold to your soul.

You needed him.

And you could only have him in Canada.